Ashley > Recent Status Updates

"She said your face is pretty but worries it's like a small horse - that it'll break when she rides it." I will never recover.

Update: Din was just told to "clean his undercarriage" I am again deceased.

ALSO, I am trying to get past the narrator. Narrators really can make or break a story for me. For example, Heated Rivalry. Hollander's voice was very... rude? Antagonistic? But the narrator for Daniel is that way in this book, too. It's so harsh and grating like he's just MAD ALL THE TIME. Talking to kids? ANGER MAN. Memories of his childhood? ANGER MAN. I don't feel sorry for him because ANGER MAN.

I needed a Cosmere break (don't you come at me, you Sanderson hoes - I read the last 4 Mistborn books and I'm in the middle of Oathbringer with Shallon being 14 and an idiot (sassy gay friend iykyk)) and this seemed to be about as far as that as I could get. American Rapture was amazing. THIS is about as far from THAT as you can get. I wouldn't even have recognized this author, tbh. The cover is killing me tho :(

"Omnis vir lupus. Hail Reaper."

"Sevro...."
"Reaper..."
"What did you do?"
Sevro: 😎

I'm pretty lost on the time travel stuff. I'm not great at understanding that subject. Now, in the time traveler's wife, the author made it very clear where/when/age each chapter. But this? I am confused. It's still a beautiful book.

Shane is a shitty partner. Ilya is basically giving up everything and Shane just sucks.

There is no sex, no chemistry, nothing. It's boring. They argue. What is happening???

"Stupid Canadian wolf bird."

Dystopian fiction?? In THIS political climate?? We'll see.

Jet fucking sucks.

OK this is starting to drag a little which speaks to my attention span. This is my first book in weeks or months, so the fact that it's keeping my ridiculously lazy brain engaged means this is good as hell.

Emme gets on my last damn nerve.

Girl take a cold shower, damn.

"Oddly pubic mat of ivy" sir, what.

Dude gets whipped multiple times with an actual whip and they just let it go lol

So much is this is just...problematic.

LISTEN. I just reread The Shining for the 20th time. There is no cat in that book. There are 2 girls, but I'm not even sure they're twins. How very dare you to put movie details into a literary party, smh.

Why is this dude telling his sister that she "looked great in those tight pants"??

Stephen King goes so overboard on the Robinson kids ffs. Harvard, both punished by the time they're 20 or whatever, singers, best seller lists, come on.

Why is the mailman giving out addresses to randos??

I tried to read this arc in print and gave up. I'm listening to it and about to give up. I've always been excited to read new T. Kingfisher books, but they're just dragging out lately. This is just lists of plants. Lists of poisons. Lists of ways people can ingest poison. Also, how much the narrator IS NOT MATERNAL. I only needed to hear that once, dang.

"A wave of guilt washes over me, like i shouldn't be in a deceased woman's room, reading her private exchanges." YOU THINK?? also, authors should no longer use the whole "guess the password" or "found the password." All of mine are so random and have been for years. Most people do that.

Jack should be fired. Nola drinks too much and then drives. Chick is selfish af. I don't like anyone, honestly.

TWICE in this book, Lisey can't find something and says it must have been the cleaning women. Both times, she finds it. RUDE, LISEY. RUDE.

OK, so everyone was right - the audiobook for this is SO.DAMN.GOOD.

So uh... this is WAY more brutal than I expected.

78% done and nothing has happened. 10 hours in and i could summarize this book in about 3 sentences.

OMG THIS BOOK IS SO REPETITIVE AND EVERYONE SUCKS. I am literally skipping through, putting the audiobook at 1.5x, hoping something will happen. None of these characters have intertwined at all. I am hoping for a big reveal but idk.

The spiteful hatred between Harrowhark and Gideon will never fail to amuse me. When Gideon is wondering if Harrow has been murdered, she thinks to herself, "but what if the murderer is weird... that would make their marriage to Gideon kind of awkward... maybe they could, like, exchange friendship bracelets instead..." 🤣