Vanessa > Recent Status Updates

At least there is one not dumb person in this

At least there is one not dumb person in this

Incompetence everrrrrrywhere /claws at face

And no one did a backround check. Uh-hu.

YOU DID THE SAME TO THEM

EVERYONE IS DUMB AND INCOMPETENT HERE

... and none of you is even trying to talk to him about it.

These characters are great concepts but man are they hollow.

... you could just given her another name in your phone.

Why is he so dumb. It's starting to get really annoying.

Full of either unpleasant or not frustrating people allergic to just talking to each other jfc (Excluding Leaf, who did nothing wrong)

I've never read the original trilogy but jfc were the King and Queen always this pathetic? I get the sadness, but barely being able to function without our spouse (who is NOT dead!) when you're the fucking monarch of the land??? Maybe WORK on your situation????

For a socially awkward loner with only one friend he's clinging to, Isaac is so judgemental towards other ppl jfc. Starting to wonder if I should actually not be surprised he doesn't have any friends... Sometimes you need to make an effort, dude!

(Signed, a fellow socially anxious loner)

... I swear this kinda reads like Interview with the Vampire fanfic. (Janus = Marius, Amadeus = Arman, Etienne = Lestat, Léon = Louis)

We will find Alexander's corpse soon. He has been spinning in his grave since the release of this book. His corpse will be free soon to conquer us all again.

Alexander the Great actually wanted to live peacefully with his "partner" on the countryside.

THOSE MACEDONIAN SOLDIERS HE HAD MARCHING ACROSS HALF THE KNOWN WORLD FOR HIS AMBITION DIDN'T DIE FOR THIS SLANDER!!!

Too sexually pent up to think about a way to untie that "stupid knot". Orgasms lead to the best ideas. It is known.

(I am a gross puddle on the floor. I have melted.)

THIS ALEXANDER DOESN'T WANT TO USE VIOLENCE TO CONQUER THE WORLD

someone fetch me some smelling salts

Alexander the Great. Sweetie. I'm so sorry.

Alexander the Great not caring about military stuff because he's too busy oogling his "partner"...
...
...
...
Let me write my testament real quick.

Not Barsine telling Olympias - and I quote - that her son "dicked her down so good"

My eyes are wide. My mouth agape. My brain is scrambled.

"Will you be my partner?"

"Only if you will be mine."

"Deal."

SOMEONE SEDATE ME

Alexander called Hephaestion: "Baby"

I... I... just... asdfgghhjkl

HEPHAESTION CALLED BARSINE ALEXANDER'S "SIDEPIECE" BWAHAHAHAHAHA (sob sob sob)

Alexander and Barsine are having fake-sex to mislead everyone into thinking they're straight .

This book is an assassination attempt on me personally.

... a ball at which Roxana and Barsine also are. And their fathers are trying to get Alexander to marry them.

Bridgerton fic in my "Alexander" fic? I have seen everything now. Other terrible books can go home.