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​Creating unconditional positive regard opens the door to changing thoughts and behaviors.The more a person feels understood, and positively affirmed in that understanding, the more likely that urge for constructive behavior will take hold. ■​“That’s right” is better than “yes.” Strive for it. Reaching “that’s right” in a negotiation creates breakthroughs

When someone tells you “No,” you need to rethink the word in one of its alternative—and much more real—meanings: ■​I am not yet ready to agree; ■​You are making me feel uncomfortable; ■​I do not understand; ■​I don’t think I can afford it; ■​I want something else;I need more information; or ■​I want to talk it over with someone else.

Imagine yourself in your counterpart’s situation. The beauty of empathy is that it doesn’t demand that you agree with the other person’s ideas (you may well find them crazy). But by acknowledging the other person’s situation, you immediately convey that you are listening.

In recent decades, psychologists and biologists have taken up the challenge of studying scientifically what really makes people happy.The generally accepted definition of happiness is ‘subjective well-being’. Happiness , according to this view, is something I feel inside myself, a sense of either immediate pleasure or long-term contentment with the way my life is going.

Mirroring, also called isopraxism, is essentially imitation. It’s another neurobehavior humans (and other animals) display in which we copy each other to comfort each other. It can be done with speech patterns, body language, vocabulary, tempo, and tone of voice. It’s generally an unconscious behavior—we are rarely aware of it when it’s happening—but it’s a sign that people are bonding..

Psychotherapy research shows that when individuals feel listened to, they tend to listen to themselves more carefully and to openly evaluate and clarify their own thoughts and feelings. In addition, they tend to become less defensive and oppositional and more willing to listen to other points of view, which gets them to the calm and logical place where they can be good Getting to Yes problem solvers.

The best place to observe this is on television where people are interviewed. On Sunday-morning programs such as Face the Nation, This Week, or Meet the Press, you don’t see too many head tilts—by either the hosts or the guests. The topics are often of national and international importance, and therefore participants in these discussions typically want to convey a sense of seriousness.

European empires believed that in order to govern effectively they must know the languages and cultures of their subjects. British officers arriving in India were supposed to spend up to three years in a Calcutta college, where they studied Hindu and Muslim law alongside English law; Sanskrit, Urdu and Persian alongside Greek and Latin;

Science is unable to set its own priorities. It is also incapable of determining what to do with its discoveries. For example, from a purely scientific viewpoint it is unclear what we should do with our increasing understanding of genetics. Should we use this knowledge to cure cancer, to create a race of genetically engineered supermen , or to engineer dairy cows with super-sized udders?

There is no proof that history is working for the benefit of humans because we lack an objective scale on which to measure such benefit.

Scientists studying the inner workings of the human organism have found no soul there. They increasingly argue that human behaviour is determined by hormones, genes and synapses, rather than by free will – the same forces that determine the behaviour of chimpanzees, wolves and ants. Our judicial and political systems largely try to sweep such inconvenient discoveries under the carpet.

In order to unite under its aegis a large expanse of territory inhabited by disparate groups of human beings, a religion must possess two further qualities. First, it must espouse a universal superhuman order that is true always and everywhere. Second, it must insist on spreading this belief to