carson > Recent Status Updates

what are we even doing anymore

yeah the Pizarnik essay fully lost me but we ride full steam ahead anyways

jesus christ you have to work for this shit. i’m enjoying it but also i do not know enough about Pizarnik’s poetry to understand what is going on in the current mid-book essay on her style.

lowkey obsessed w the notes of the killer

why do i pick the most chaotic books to listen to while at work?

chapter four being titled "Victim is always feminine" really just took me out for a minute

i don’t understand the timing of the mother’s chapters against the maid’s chapters but sweet jesus do i get forgetting all earthly needs because a hot lesbian got you in bed

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

i know i’m not cut out to be a mother because every time the kid says “i’m cold, papa” i just get annoyed

i keep having a disconnect on the time period — this doesn’t feel current but then a character mentions Facebook and i’m like oh! right!

my brain rot from the secret agent is so real because i read Recife and immediately was yelling at my coworker about that movie

i feel a little stupid but genuinely cannot grasp what is tying these two stories together other than the fact that cora is in the middle. is it just to give backstory on how we got to the point at the start of the book? i feel apathetic as hell towards the mom.

oh fuck

i literally just spent my entire commute from cleveland to nyc reading and couldn’t figure out what the fuck was actually developing forward and now i’m like Oh Fuck. FINALLY a shoe drops.

i like the pacing and the way this is framed but i can’t decide if im bought in or not. there is a lingering sense of doom and destruction that i am uncertain if its intentional, even as we discuss what constitutes a life and a family.

“Stains are a strange thing in general. Never in my life have I managed to get rid of one completely. I have a deep suspicion of women who claim to be able to remove stains. Either they’re lying or there’s something not quite right at home.”

“But I’ve never managed to persuade Richard that she’s just a burden to me. He simply doesn’t understand that there are some people you despise and still cannot escape.”

help

so like i went in knowing id be horrified but good god this is desolate hell. unlocking the room in the house actually had me so horrified at my desk that my boss asked if i was okay.

jesus christ this poor boy

this is my dream tbh

finally found my log in for goodreads again, reading this rn

race start and i am CHEESIN

mention of the juice box hellll yeah i did not clock that we are in houston

rec from Soleil, hoping to energize myself during the queens 10k with it rn

idk if this section was harder or easier to read last night while drunk but ouchie! ouch!

i fear i’m a little drunk at employees only and this is making the book sadder

got to 10% and didn’t understand a single thing going on, restarting while running the brooklyn half at slower speed so hopefully it makes sense this time

this stupid series has me in its snare i can't stop

this is unhinged? why do i feel bad for 3500 year old worm dictator man? but also??? everyone else????