Haley > Recent Status Updates

need to know what he was referencing to create that text thread

why didn’t he just go to thailand like every other ugly guy

hundreds of pages of backstory and infodumping. we finally get to patient HM on pg 200 lmao

I’m enduring a complete history of human suffering and idk how grand the payoff will be

this is how long chapters should be

the random incel plotline ??

hmmm do i want to make my ex wife who hates me suction the spittle out of my mouth every time i reminisce about when i could eat food or should i call it quits. lets go with the first option

reading this feels like long distance swimming in a pool of saliva

shitting my corduroys and making my ex wife clean it up is probably when i would throw in the towel.

no man would ever express this level of self reflection and accountability and that’s how you know this is written by a woman

good god

I loved the conversation about vacuous truth. She’s such a phenomenal character writer, seems to need nothing to hit the ground running. Do you think Sally Rooney would be romantically interested in a slightly overweight Canadian woman? asking for a friend

this is about a woman who attends MIT to learn how to hack sex offenders’ phones so they kill themselves, which is very relatable

lowkey autistic representation

Love being able to source Japanese beetles and opium poppies from my local home hardware

this genuinely reads as a second draft manuscript

who still uses cliffnotes

cheating on your boyfriend while listening to a song he produced is phenomenal work ngl

“…our producer Ilene, that wonderful broad with the can-do attitude of Bob the Builder and the attitude of Carmela Soprano..” please bring back editors

growing up impoverished but zac posen was your babysitter 📝

I cannot pretend to care about OCD and greta getwig

agony intense enough to annihilate 😪

me when judd apatow invites me to the filming of Bridesmaids

already the best of her novels

i love these books bc they always gloss over the small loans of thousands of dollars from their parents

our main character became a high school math teacher at 19 because who gives a shit

Frieda loves to blame teenage girls for the actions of grown men