Joshua > Recent Status Updates

I love every time someone owns Moses in this

Ilya Rozanov 🤝 punk singer seeing a mosh pit:
“Open it up for me”

Bag getters anonymous

A washed-up sailor, now a preacher, tells the story of Jonah. Imagine being swallowed by a whale. Stupid. Dummy. It’s only through saying “alright you got me God I deserve to be eaten by a whale” does the punishment relent. Meanwhile, Ishmael puffs and passes “wild pipe” with Queequeg until they are “married” and form “a cozy, loving pair.”

Ishmael finds himself living out the ultimate closeted fantasy where every domino falls in such a way where he simply must sleep with this man, there's just no other option (the other room is a little too chilly, so he has to let Queequeg put his arm around him, duh.)

Ishmeal says that the sea calls to us yet we deny it: why none of my friends will join me on the staten island ferry. He is like the hipster of the sea, too cool (broke) for a carnival cruise which is for sucker normies. No, he will retain his dignity cleaning bird shit off a captain's boots. There have only been two times someone has been excited for Nantucket: Ishmael, and when someone took a limerick too seriously

Wow, the horror of automation stealing people’s livelihoods. Glad this isn’t an issue anymore

Invention of both cottage-core and anarcho-primitivism

Third story done.