Emily > Recent Status Updates

Riled up over medieval inn prices. A shilling six pence for one night?? You're out of your fucking mind

What do you mean Godzilla is back AND now there's a 130 foot ankylosaurus beefing with him

"His eyes were masculine, shoulders broad, and arms sturdy." #needthat

When they just blew up Godzilla but there's more than 100 pages left of this damn book

"When men kiss in public, it is a sign of peace." A time-honored tradition ❤️

Oh my house? Yeah you can find it on Shitbrook Street and by Pissing Alley

"If a man wants to take legal action against his wife for adultery, he has to admit he is a cuckold."

Maybe it's different in the original Japanese but I think it's so funny that there is zero description of Godzilla's appearance. He just shows up and everyone knows him by name.

I realize things were different back in the day but you're telling me that the best name Londoners could think of for their red light district was "Cock Lane" huh

English translation is not doing it for me so far but we persist

I need this book to end FREE MEEEE

Aaaaand amnesiac Rory is gone

Amnesiac Rory is so funny

God I forgot what a BITCH Benji is

Someone put me and these kids out of their MISERY GOD DAMN SUZANNE

Not the household eunuch (function unspecified) 💔

The sheer amount of run-on sentences this book contains makes it nearly impossible to follow as an audio book. Every single line from the narrator is like "what would you do if when you're ok so he said yes would go"

I forgot all about fucking Benji

"You are trapped in here with the last Duchess of Valerius." BAAAAAARS

Hang on Mort is cool as fuck now

"In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen." BARS

I don't give a shit about taxes bring back the elephants and breastfeeding wolves

GERMAN GREG BEING AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN AMERICAN GREG LMAO

The timeless tradition that is xenophobia ❤️

I LOVE ancient people. No bombs, no chemical warfare, just Hannibal and his 37 war elephants