Kinsey > Recent Status Updates

me, only 30pgs in: i know these are all technically words but they make absolutely no sense when you string them together like that

the greeks: you have to stay at this summer camp and when you go out into the world you'll probs die young, sorry

the romans, who are waiting for the paperwork to go thru to get a starbucks in new rome: this is so sad, alexa play despacito

the pj series: everybody gets their own found family and your absentee parent still cares about you and good will always triumph over evil

the hoo series: everybody has a guilt complex and you're gonna kill the only person who's ever loved you and, oh yeah, the entire goddamn world is ending so have fun with that

this is already so much darker than the pj series, holy moly...

jedao waking up missing twenty-some years of his life and scared and alone but one of the first things he remembers is being with cheris???? fucking perfection right there, bud. 👌👌👌

dear book gods, pls let this fill the 'enemies to friends to lovers' void in my poor little heart...

tbqh my absolute favorite past-time is going to the reviews of books i wanna know the ending of without actually having to read it, filtering the reviews to '1 star', clicking the most liked 'this review has been hidden because it contains spoilers' post, and watching all the book's dirty little secrets fly 😂

I SHOULD READ THIS BOOK, i said. IT'LL BE FUN, i said. I DEFINITELY WON'T START CRYING OVER A FICTIONAL I.M. CONVO, i said.

percy: wah my father won't acknowledge my existence
me: bitch, me too, the fuck

i love exactly one (1) man, and that man is mr. john "i confessed my love to you and was cruelly rebutted and will never look upon you agai- oh you're mother is feeling unwell? well i better get her some fresh fruit and personally deliver them to your house, then" thornton

"she had a bracelet on one taper arm, which would fall down over her round wrist. mr. thornton watched the re-placing of this troublesome ornament with far more attention than he listened to her father. it seemed as if it fascinated him to see her push it up impatiently, until it tightened her soft flesh..."

darcy and elizabeth? sorry, never fuckin' heard of 'em.

white bear: come find me, east of the sun and west of the moon
rose: wtf??? those are not directions, bro
white bear: *vanishes into thin air like a goddamn drama queen*

me, hopeful: ummm is she going to fuck a bear?
the gremlin in my brain, beating me with a stick: stop! being! nasty!

the first time that man called me his "property" i would've stabbed him in the chest, idgaf how big his dick is

honestly the best part of this book so far has been claire routinely cussing up a storm whilst the big, burly scotsmen stare at her in fascinated horror

the characters: oh no! everything is going so!!! wrong!!!
me, banging pots and pans together: NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF Y'ALL IDIOTS HAD JUST LISTENED TO KELSIER