audrey > Recent Status Updates

“There were no reasons so mighty that they could override the desire to be in accord with the tides and the passage of seasons and the rhythms underlying everything around me.”

…but I don’t have to wear rose colored glasses
to see life in color anymore

…I’m sure you promised her forever
is that the same forever you promised me?

I hate the fall
it smells like you again
and I can hear your voice
float through the wind

whispering those three little words

it’s winter now
cold
and rainy
and you’re not here

you promised to love me
through all the seasons

maybe I was just not your weather

to love you
was to hand you a gun
and have you aim it
at my heart
and pray
you never pull the trigger

I gave myself to him with the skin peeled off
I let him see me for what was inside
I let him look at me raw

I let him memorize the lines that strung through the plans of my hands
I let him count the number of veins that kept my heart beating

and I’ll still love you if you told me
you didn’t wanna be here anymore

I think I’m the girl before the girlfriend
…
I don’t wanna be the girl who teaches you how to love
I want to be the girl who gets it

38

30-31

“It was entirely in keeping with his personality to become set on something and follow it, regardless of the consequences. To let an impulse become a compulsion, especially if he thought he was contributing to a cause greater than himself.”

“I was adapting to it, but at times like this, I remembered that just a day ago I had been someone else.”

“During all that time, I could never get beyond the mask, could never find the man I have known inside of him.”

“I was trying to reclaim remnants of the man I remembered,”

“At the time, I was seeking oblivion, and I saw in those blank, anonymous faces, even the most painfully familiar, a kind of benign escape. A death that would not mean being dead.”

“Then, after a time, the boar faded into the backdrop, like all else that we had passed on our way from the border, and I was staring into the future again”

“While we were in that corridor, in that transitional space, nothing could touch us. We were neither what we had been nor what we would become once we reached our destination.”

“I would tell you the names of the other three, if it mattered…Besides, we were always strongly discouraged from using names: We were meant to be focused on our purpose, and “anything personal should be left behind.” Names belong belongs to where we had come from, not to who we were while embedded in Area X.”

introduction by karen joy fowler
“To think we have attained, or someday might attain, a complete clarity, much less bend the world to our will, vastly overestimates our powers. To expect certainty is just another example of human hubris.”

introduction by karen joy fowler
“The dangers are both large and small. But the fact that so many animals flee at the sight of us has allowed us to indulge in a sense of our own primacy. We are used to being seen. We are used to seeing ourselves as powerful. We are used to feeling that we are above rather than inside the natural world.”

The Treatment of Bibi Haldar

The Third and Final Continent 5/5

This Blessed House 4/5

He looked at her face, which it occurred to him, had not grown out of its girlhood, the eyes on troubled, the pleasing feature is unfair, as if they still had to settle into some sort of permanent expression. Nicknamed after our nursery rhyme, she had yet to shed a childhood endearment.

She was like that, excited and delighted by little things, crossing her fingers before any remotely unpredictable event, like tasting a new flavor of ice cream, or dropping a letter in a mailbox…as if the world contained hidden wonders he could not anticipate, or see.