Brenna > Recent Status Updates

Front of his shirt in fist count: 3

“When she moved her head, I could see a lesion on her neck open and close like a fish mouth singing a country song.”

“…and the pictures playing in my head now were better, not so violent or sucky. They were more of women in turtlenecks petting my hair.”

“We watched Snowblind. The guy in it, he fell off a platform at a mob-owned ski lift and landed in powder next to a sexy assassin with a heart of gold.”

“I can read. A little. I kind of protested it in School™. On the grounds that the silent ‘E’ is stupid.”

“We still were like that, looking into each other’s eyes and all, when the doctor came in and was like, What the hell had happened in the examination room, what’s with all the needles? and he was upgrading to homicidal and going all, Da da da professional care unit, da da da dangerous and costly da da infection da da da, etc.”

“. . . based on the true story of a clone fighting to save her own liver from the cruel and ruthless original who’s farming her for organs.”

“She was now completely youch on all of our meters, except with the girls, who I could tell had started to chat each other like some ants after someone’s buried a missionary alive in the middle of their hill.”

Then it was this big thing. She was like, I never want to see you again, and I was like, Fine. Okay? Fine. Then get some special goggles.

Love to see a good boi go absolutely off the chain!!!!

FONDA NO

I see what u did there Tana, u Lonesome Dove head

😭😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭

😭😭

😭

I GOD LARRY ☹️

dammit Larry

acab……..except for Roscoe, law enforcement’s most perfect idiot 😇

Feasting on these cowboy feelings

This breakfast scene... *chef’s kiss*


(How does he make piss jokes so cozy???)

“I can’t even articulate what it is about the strands that pushes me straight into need-to-fuck-her-now territory”
The strands….of her hair….. (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)

lmao "don’t fall in love with me"
*snuggles like a champ*
*leaves her namesake flowers*

<spoiler>*Hulk Hogan voice* LIIIIGHTNIIIIING WIIIIIEEEELLLLDDDDEEEERRRRRR</spoiler>

“No throwing” as she’s getting choked out on the mat, my man Emetterio is quiet quitting and i gotta respect that

yanked against hard chest count: 3

just a completely platonic half-nude full-back massage between childhood besties

She infodumps world facts to manage anxiety???? smh why am i writing

“Busy Bee Society” im dyin just call me a Sentimentalist 🥹