Sarah > Recent Status Updates

‘“Get them food and drink, brother.” She sniffs. “And baths.”’

Oh, my bad. Clearly body odor smells like lemons in this universe.

Dude, go take a bath. You're starting to smell a little citrusy.

“I sigh at his scent, lemon and woodsmoke,”

They’ve been traveling for days without bathing but of course the love interests always smell like sunshine and rainbows instead of sweat and dirt. How the heck does he smell like lemon? Is he carrying lemons around in his pockets?

“I’ll be with you in one second, babe,” *seductively rubs himself with a lemon* “You were saying?”

There is absolutely no way she got his unconscious body back on the horse by herself

All the times characters that barely know each other kiss or almost kiss during really tense scenes is really jarring

Oof.

Oof. Didn’t expect that death to hit so soon.

Didn’t even get to use the potato.

WHAT

I nearly threw my phone when I finally caught onto where that was headed

"A figure comes around the door, holding something that emanates a thin beam of light. It's a pair of boiled potatoes, connected to a pea-sized bulb."

Not the potatoes again!

"All I can glean from that is it could be dark and root vegetables might come in handy."

"If it's wet like Wyatt thinks, then there may be no dry wood and building a fire for light won't be an option. So we'll have to plug into potatoes."

Lol.

I'm seeing all over social media people talking about sobbing while reading this, and meanwhile I'm cackling over the potatoes.

"Why Beetee's been tapped to man a booth with a potato, I've no idea."

Lol.

How can you throw in a sentence like that after the revelation right before?

"According to a 2013 study published by geomorphologist Ellen Wohl, active beaver complexes on twenty-seven streams in Rocky Mountain National Park once stored more than 2.6 million megagrams of carbon - by my calculations, the equivalent of thirty-seven thousand acres of average American forests."

Beavers rock

“a man so committed to preserving California’s dwindling runs that he once attended a county meeting in a home-sewn coho costume and angrily spawned orange pom-poms across the desk of a conservation-averse commissioner.”

LOL. I would have liked to see that

"Conservation biologists refer to the notion of shifting baselines syndrome, a form of long-term amnesia that causes each successive generation to accept its own degraded ecology as normal. ... Every year our standards slip a little further; every year we lose more and remember less."

:( Ugh, this hurts my soul.

“Over eight hours a parade of tribal, federal, and university scientists - clad almost exclusively in flannel, the customary uniform of northwestern biologist-“

Um, I think you mean ALL biologists

“It’s not the misspelled words that are a problem. I barely even mark those when I find them.”

Lol OK

“I promised to haunt you, remember? You said it was impossible, since I was an AI. Ha! Well, how wrong you were. Here I am!”

Ugh, I love M-Bot so much

“I’m a ghost, boo!”

Yayayayayayayayay!!!!

No! Not again!!!!

NO!
Nononononononononono!!!!!!

Excuse me?! You’re going to check all the grizzly scat in 5 MILE radius??? Do you have any idea how insane that is? Especially without detection dogs.

Tell me the author isn’t a biologist without telling me the author isn’t a biologist….

"You have very nice shoes!"
"We've been working on his compliments."
"They aren't nearly as stupid as the rest of your outfit!"
"He still needs practice."

Okay, I'm going to need all the books about girls befriending non-human things right now.

"Ah, yes. A spot of proper carnage. This is what life is all about."

Wah- what! How dare you do that to me!

"Oh, is that is? I was enjoying that. Bit of senseless violence does wonders for morale. You should break in somewhere every night. There are heaps of old people's homes in London. Let's choose another one tomorrow."

Lol, can more books have snarky evil skulls in them?

There’s no way they didn’t just kill one of those old people