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It’s so depressing and aspirational at the same time, way to kick off 2026

DNF. I might try again someday, but this book got me into one of my most significant reading slumps. After reading the Count of Monte Cristo this year, I have decided that I deserve some rest from doorstoppers for a while...

god im almost done

So much drama

God I cannot remember who’s who anymore

Reflecting on the difference between temporary or even long term coping mechanisms with the addictive process. The difference might lie somewhere on the dependency and ability to make unimpaired decisions.

A continuous and steady stream of consciousness, making the passing of seconds become expansive and capable of holding so much more emotions and revelations, reminding me of what happens when you zoom into a spectrogram and see the details expand endlessly.

Notes:

Everyone is dying. Living is essentially dying.

Love’s hardest price to pay is the farewell. But love is what makes us come alive.

Found a copy in a thrift store, remembered how it had moved me back in high school, and now as I’m reading it again almost a decade later I’m remembering how much I loved this book. And how much it made me cry.

Much fun so far!

So enjoyable to read. Love the language. Dig the humor. Ove is my favorite grumpy and emotionally constipated character. I kind of don’t want this book to end. It has a healing quality to it. It’s just so…endearing.

Struggling to keep my brows from frowning. Hate the main dude Ryle. Way more interested in the side story about Atlas and her parent’s abusive relationship. Hate the lack of consent, hate the cliches that exist only to help the plot moving on, hate the random rich bestie who takes care of everything type of character. I’m so confused why people love it. I’m really tempted to ditch it but the rating…???

I don’t know how to describe how much of this book felt like it’s pulling words straight from my chaotic brain. I left this book on the coffee table for a whole week or two before finally having the courage to flip it open, because I was so scared that it would make me relive those moments when I felt like the storm wouldn’t end, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. But it didn’t. It did the opposite.

This is a book not only for people in pain, but for people who want to support their loved ones that are in pain, and for people who understand the transience of everything in life, thus gathering the courage and gently leaning towards the possibility of going through excruciating pain one day in the future. Pain, is not a mistake, it is not shameful, and we don’t get to erase and forget. We carry it and integrate

Additional random thoughts…this is reminding me of Brave New World and Man’s Search for Meaning. Happiness is an emotion, not a permanent state. Life’s meaning or goal is not to be as happy as possible from birth to death, it’s also about pain, suffering, loss, gratitude, sorrow, solitude, …to be human, to be alive, and to be truthful to ourselves is to experience this wide range of human experiences.

Happiness, laughter, and cheerfulness is not all that life should be about. What lay in the vitality of human beings is compassion and authenticity. To be able to look at my own tears and tell myself that it is ok to not be happy and cheerful, and that to be in a depressive episode is not living without dignity, and realizing that Everything is transient…it has carried me to a hopeless but brand new beginning.

Realizing that I really lack the basic knowledge of American history to criticize or even form an opinion on how this book portrays history, therefore I might not end up rating the book as I am probably not qualified enough to do so. I should read more books on American history, from other people’s lenses.

Very educational, makes me realize that I remember absolutely nothing from American history classes in high school…(I did have a fantastic teacher I just wasn’t a good student)

Still dislike all characters…

Don’t know if I’m mis-interpreting anything but none of the characters are likable so far..?

“Douglass believed that the United States needed to surrender the image of itself as an exceptional icon of liberty in order to deal with the self-inflicted problems that had driven the country into bloody civil war.”

The first half was so GOOD but now i don’t know where the story is going and it’s getting so boringgg