Sarah > Recent Status Updates

Bringing in an “outsider” increases caliber of decision-making because people pay attention to how they communicate and how they reason + they exhibit more “social sensitivity”

- “Consequentialist”: less interested in appearances than what actually works
- Long Game checklist: balance, sustainability, restraint, precision, patience, fallibility, skepticism, exceptionalism
- Obama “champion of American exceptionalism”
- take intelligence and scrub with an eye towards “what can be released publicly; constructs legal basis for action

Fear Self vs True Self

1. Where is the freedom?
2. Where is the relief?

Reflect on life decisions & consider if one of the four omens was present:

1. Obligation: “what should I do here?”
2. Objectivity: “what’s the right/smartest/strategic move?”
3. Optics: “how will it look? What will people think?”
4. Outcomes: “how will this advance me?”

Underfulfilled Overachiever: striver who believes achievement leads to fulfillment

Destinational Living: actions lead towards concrete end goal, ignoring feelings & desires along the way

Core of fear:
1. I am unlovable
2. I am helpless
3. I am worthless

Resilience = adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress

Regret -> resilience

Building a career requires novel thinking and re-thinking, so classrooms that prioritize drafts, revisions, and feedback lead to stronger student outcomes.

Spicy life, writing, language

Depolarize by showcasing complexity of a topic to override binary bias, encourage rethinking.
- skeptics: healthy scientific stance; ask critical questions; update thinking when new info comes in
- complexity is a signal of credibility: when a speaker expresses doubt -> more persuasive
- ask “how” to reduce polarization
- encourage & allow for a range of feelings - avoid binary bias

Motivational interviewing: help people find their own reason to change, humility & curiosity, ask questions like a scientist and “guide others to self-discovery”.
- Sustain talk: commentary about maintaining the status quo
- Change talk: refers to a desire, ability, need, commitment to make adjustments
- “if you present info without permission, no one will listen”

Hilarious!

Successful debates:
- select a few strong arguments (too many arguments can dilute efficacy)
- concede when someone makes a good point
- ask “what evidence would change your mind?”
- when other side gets angry -> get curious
- acknowledge legitimate weaknesses

Joy of being wrong: successful forecasters predict, assess confidence in predictions, make a list of conditions that need to be true for the prediction to come true, and constantly reassess & take in new info. I can do this too!

Good fights: high-performing groups have “task conflict” or disagreements about ideas & opinions. Argue about “how” and build a “challenge network.”

Rethinking cycle:
1. Humility
2. Doubt
3. Curiosity
4. Discovery

Confident humility: have faith in my capability while appreciating I may not have the right solution nor addressing the right problem

Confidence: ability to achieve goal while questioning if I have the right tools in the present

Scientist: seeking truth
1. Run experiments
2. Test hypotheses
3. Ask “what might I be missing?” and “where might I be wrong?”

Mindsets that can lead us astray:
1. Preacher: sacred beliefs are in jeopardy -> deliver sermons to protect ideal
2. Prosecutor: recognize someone else is wrong & “marshal arguments” to win our case
3. Politician: seek to win over an audience

Interrupt overwhelming emotions & inaccurate stories by
1. Recognizing emotional “hooks”
2. Recognize stories I’m making up, likely with incomplete or inaccurate info
3. Recognize body’s response & feelings - narrate
4. Identify what else I need to know about the situation, another person, or myself
5. Respond with courage

Integrity: choosing courage over comfort through BRAVING
1. Boundaries
2. Reliability
3. Accountability
4. Vault
5. Integrity
6. Non-judgment
7. Generosity

Self-trust follows BRAVING principles

Leaders live their values & are never silent about hard things.

1. Select two values
2 Operationalize them: identify behaviors that support each value, identify what might make the value slip, describe a time when I embodied the value
3. Speak up about hard things
4. Practice giving & receiving feedback: listen, ask questions, take ownership

Practicing empathy looks like:
1. Take others’ perspectives
2. Avoid judgment
3. Understand another person’s feelings
4. Communicate that understanding
5. Mindfulness
6. Practice self-compassion
7. Recognize shame & its triggers

Shame shows up in cultures as: perfectionism, favoritism, gossiping, back-channeling, comparison, self-worth tied to productivity, harassment, discrimination, power over, bullying, blaming, teasing, cover ups.

The antidote to shame is empathy.