Jess Bae > Recent Status Updates

The author reading her own work is the ultimate in terms of energetic alignment 😎

“If you give a man everything he needs, he will start looking for what he wants. What he (or she, men have no monopoly on this) wants may be to dominate or to destroy. You cannot simultaneously ignore this fact and deal with it.” Love a text that does not get bogged down with how people should act but instead deals with the violence that exists!

John Berendt: my first impression of Savannah came from reading about pirates in Treasure Island, age 10
Me: my first impression of Savannah came from reading about murderous rich gays in Midnight in the Garden, age 12
Revisiting it almost 30 years later is DELICIOUS
This book is ☕️ ☕️ 🫖 ☕️ ☕️

So dense and relevant I can only get through two pages a day. Speaks to many of my critiques of IFS and offers ways to adjust this approach for traumatized clients with too much self-hate to “fully access Self.”

The first chapter was so dry...second one is far more saucy with plenty of psychoanalytic gossip and bad behavior, Freud insulting other analyst to their faces and behind their backs, etc.

Utterly brilliant concept, GORGEOUS prose. Hartman writes with deep, imaginative sympathy for the women whose history she writes. She is keenly attuned to their genius. Social workers need to read this to understand the ways our profession offered a way of life for progressive whites women, who created a career for themselves by colluding with the state to criminalize young Black women.

"What would Jacques Lacan say about my fear of topping? I wonder. Or another psychoanalyst -- I'm not picky, any vapid degradation will do." 👑

Thus far, FABULOUS. I was not expecting the Little Mermaid smut, that's for sure!

This is one of the most important books I have ever read. Give it to every codependent service top in your life!

"If you're having difficulty self-soothing, reconsider what you're trying to soothe yourself about. At times I've been amazed at how well I can handle clean pain -- how much I could hurt and keep going. It's but the same, however, if it's dirty pain. You can't really soothe yourself when you're dodging part of the truth."

"I am not attempting to make a comprehensive statement so much as to point out that the written words of psychoanalytic literature do not seem to tell us all that we need to know."