✨CynicalLuminary;✨ > Recent Status Updates

Never has a book this short felt this fucking long, I dont know how many times I have gone crosseyed or had to start whole sentences again BECAUSE THIS MAN DOESNT USE PERIODS, EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS JUST A ONE PAGE RUN ON SENTENCE. My god.

Yeah why would I want to read about the characters I have been spending the past two books with when I could actually read chapter upon chapter about TOTALLY NEW AND NOT ESTABLISHED dudes instead??? Also, stop with the new magic gooblygock, feels like I am reading one of the Dunes.

Oh let me sing of how fucking much i HATE Zuzana, how my chest fills with absolute DREAD when her godforsaken person shows up on page OH MY GOD. SHES SO UWU SMALL BUT ALSO F E I S T Y UUUHHH TINY RABID FAIRY, SHAKES TINY ANGRY FIST I hate it here. Also, I GET IT Karou suffers soooo beautifully and skinnily ooohhh MUST BE NICE Im so angry.

Im kinda shocked by how mid this is. If it mentions one more time how ~skinnnnyyyyy~ Karou has gotten because of all the stress, Im going to roll my eyes all the way back into my skull.

I dont know if I can do this, oh my god...

Ooff.

I feel like Frodo when he arrives on top of that stupid volcano, it is d o n e. My god, to read a book of this g i r t h and realize on like page 900+ that you're kind of starting to hate it sucks sooo bad aaaaahhhh.

IM TIRED OF THIS, GRANDPA!!!!!!!

Boooo, Albert is such a little bitch, kill himmmm.

My entire perspective on this book has just so thouroughly shifted as it has bestowed upon me the knowledge that EVERY MAN IS ABOUT 5'3 ft TALL. Never would I have thunk to read my own height be described as tall for a man, oh my god #justicefornapoleon, he was an average height for his time period.

The purplest prose.

If french high society really was like that back then, I would have hung myself so very quickly oh my god can we STOP FOPPING ABOUT PLEASE. I DONT NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOUR SplENdId CIGARS CAME FROM IN GREAT DETAIL.

Slaps really hard, cant get over the fact that Dumas wants to sell me that Dantés didnt turn into an absolute ghoul during his fourteen years in prison while on his broth and bread diet, he ACTSHUALLY just got paler and buff. From digging a tunnel with his soup laddle, I guess.

I see now why this has 1200+ pages.

The pacing is so supremely strange sometimes, we just had *SPOILER* someone narrate for multiple pages, leave the town, have a child off page and then D I E off page in the span of fifteen sentences (I counted).

Richard Sackler theres such a special place in hell waiting for you.

SALLY SATEL!! SALLY SATEL!!!

One must imagine a 500+ page non-fiction book about pain killers so good, that the first appearance of oxycodone on page 206 feels like the reveal of an anticipated character in a good Marvel movie. Its actually insane how I can retain almost everything this book is telling me, I'm gonna be insufferable when I'm done with this.