Kamiko > Recent Status Updates

i REALLY was not expecting that

“i suddenly missed moon so much, i thought my chest would crack open from the velocity of the feeling.”

so… i’m actually heartbroken reading this. it’s sad watching the illusion shatter. the relationship was all fake but the emotions were real.

“now i’m here. but i feel farther away from you then ever. i don’t miss you because i love you. i love you because i miss you. i used to love the emptiness of my computer screen just for having once contained you.”

“the world, with its stolid rules concerning the final balance of all matter, would never let the amassment of our energy go unchecked. would we always have to be so apart? yet we gave each other meaning. i was his hell, he my heaven. we were indispensable to each other in our separation.”

will her infatuation shatter the moment he knows who she is? i’m really scared to see how this ends.

“now that we were in a room together, i found that i didn’t know how to feel love for him with visceral conviction, having experienced this love so much across distance, through yearning. i was no less certain of my feelings, but they seemed to sit on a shelf higher than the hands of my immediate experience could reach.”

OUCH

this book became significantly more interesting and valuable when i looked at it through a philosophical, existential, absurdist lens. esther yi i know you've read a lot of albert camus.

absolutely obsessed with this novel's depiction and analysis of fan culture and parasocial relationships. it really is just falling in love with an idea. a person who you can project anything onto and it essentially doesn't matter. because you don't know them and never will. but yet you cling to them and the emotions feel so heavy and real despite being fabricated. you are a product of your own making or whatever.

"don't you see how lucky you are? you don't know moon, so you think you know him. because you've never met him before, he's always waiting for you in a state of existential integrity."

"i pulled away from the glass, electrified by the conviction that moon and i were finally in the same place-not polygon plaza, not even seoul, but a place of far greater dimensions, an incalculable realm of possibility where encounters between individuals were rich and oxidizable like the gashed flesh of a peach."

when you fall in love with an idea lol

“despite everything i’ve been through, i still think that my loneliness is part of some character-building prologue to the joy of togetherness that inevitably awaits me…”

oh… i was not expecting that from sole lady

“they haven’t the slightest conception of what happiness is, they don’t realize that without this love of ours there is neither happiness nor unhappiness for us—there would be no life, he thought.”

“kitty looked at his face, which was so close to her, and for a long time afterward, for several years, that look full of love that she gave him then and that he did not respond to, cut her to the heart in an agony of shame.”

“lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”

the analogy of shakespeare having a sister is actually very effective in proving the point that women inherently have less access to resources when living in a patriarchal society. it’s interesting to think about how this is still true today and also very different than when these essays were first delivered jn 1928.

thinking about how grateful i am to be the first woman in my lineage to have the opportunity to go to college and receive a formal education. it is truthfully so amazing and i am blessed!!!

“his idea was still with me, because it was not a vapor sunshine could disperse, nor a sand-traced effigy storms could wash away; it was a name graven on a tablet, fated to last as long as the marble it transcribed. the craving to know what had become of him followed me everywhere…”

“i care for myself. the more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained i am, the more i will respect myself… laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise against their rigor; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. if at my individual convenience i might break them, what would be their worth?”

“it does good to no woman to be flattered by her superior, who cannot possibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and, if undiscovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-like (deceptive or deluding), into miry wilds whence there is no extrication.” GET ME OUT OF HERE

education is the key to freedom if you really think about it

“the suspense became unbearable. time seemed to him to be crawling with feet of lead, while he by monstrous winds was being swept toward the jagged edge of some black cleft or precipice.”

“gradually the events of the preceding night crept with silent blood-stained feet into his brain, and reconstructed themselves there with a terrible distinctness.”

if lord henry has no haters i am dead

…”the portrait that basil hallward had painted of him would be a guide to him through life, would be to him what holiness is to some, and conscience to others, and fear of god to us all… here was a visible symbol of the degradation of sin.”

wait why are we being sexiest and anti-semitic…

“the life that was to make his soul would mar his body.”

THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED YOU PICK THE RIGHT GUY BUT THE WRONG TIME ASS PLOT

letty when i catch you…

OPIATES ROBIN????

ROBIN WHAT THE HELL

hey!!! so what the fuck!!!