Allison Bailey > Recent Status Updates

“Learning how to cope with not getting everything done is as important as getting more done”

I like the perspective of seeking to keep roles centered, not balance. To keep them centered means to have certain roles with more weight. Sometimes, other roles are just not a priority because the most important role needs more attention for a season.

A husband and wife forsake all other lovers, just as Christ and the church forsake all other lovers. A husband commits his life to the true good of his wife, just as Christ gave His life for the church. The father of the bride gives his daughter to her husband, just as the Father gives. the church to His Son. A husband and wife become one flesh, just as Christ and His bride are one spirit.

Managers do things right, leaders do the right thing.

After watching the movies for the first time during Covid, finally listening to the books for the first time. Finally.

“Too often, churches are prone to platform leaders because this opportunity will be good for a leader's growth. While that is fine in some settings, in a counseling ministry, you only platform leaders who are ready to facilitate the growth of others. Leaders who are not ready to fill their counseling role will inadvertently but inevitably hurt the participants in that ministry.”

Ah, my dear angry Lord,
Since Thou dost love, yet strike;
Cast down, yet help afford;
Sure I will do the like.

I will complain, yet praise;
I will bewail, approve:
And all my sour-sweet days
I will lament, and love.

Bitter-Sweet by George Herbert

If he says, Let not your hearts be troubled, it is not because he doesn't understand how troubled our hearts actually are, or doesn't feel that trouble too. On the contrary, it is because he feels and knows it only too well that he wants to heal it for us. It is not his will that death should do this to us or that our hearts should always be troubled, for he has come not only to share the trouble but to deal with it

You know too well this trouble in our hearts,
Your heart is troubled for us, feels it too,
You share with us in time that shears and parts
To draw us out of time and into you.
I go that you might come to where I am
Your word comes home to us and brings us home.

From “Let Not Your Hearts be Troubled” by Malcolm Guite

If we have ever felt, as the poet does in the first stanza (Our Prayers Break on God), that God and his heaven are on some distant shore where the first heave and surge of our grief can only break in tiny wavelets, then the second stanza brings us to the gospel truth that God is close, indeed closer to our pain than we are, that he suffers under the hammer blows of our troubles and our gnawing grief gnaws at him too.

“Open our clenched fists Heaven, to receive The touch of mercy, mercy in the depths.
Open your wound in us, the wound that heals...”

Earth by Malcolm Guite

“I am not mad: too well, too well I feel
The different plague of each calamity…”

- King John - Constance’s Speech by William Shakespeare. On grief’s overwhelming realities.

“I hope that the poems in this part acknowledge and speak into our questions, our shock and con-fusion, not perhaps to answer them immediately, for the deepest answer may be a longer time coming, but at least to honour them, helping us to realise that even as we feel that we are a dead lake, a sinking ship, a staggering invalid, we are not alone.”

Malcolm’s words are consistently beautiful. Grateful.

“Infertile couples often keep their infertility private, to shield themselves from the gaze and judgment of others. But it is precisely at this point, in the midst of fear, embarrassment, anxiety, or shame, that couples should understand themselves as part of a family that listens, cares, and consoles. If that is you, dear reader, please know that you are not alone. You are part of a family.”

“Childlessness is not punitive, it is not arbitrary, and it is not wrong.”

“The ethical mistakes churches make in counseling aren’t usually a result of asking the right questions and choosing unethical answers. We make ethical mistakes because we don’t know the right question we should have asked (past tense) until it’s too late.”

“Two primary issues that create liability are mishandling this information or misrepresenting the qualifications of your counselors.”

“Yes, liability involves the possibility of a lawsuit, but if managed poorly, a counseling ministry can cost your church its reputation in the community, trust of members, and unity within the body. These things are harder to recoup than money.”

“Get ready to trust Him in every corner of your marriage. He will accept nothing less. He will be infinitely patient with you, but He insists on changing you. He loves you too much to let you go through life believing that you dont depend on Him for breath, let alone everything else. He loves you so deeply that He will force Himself into the very middle of your heart and marriage.“

“Your marriage to Jesus lasts forever. It costs you nothing. It cost Jesus His life.”

Wow. What a staggering truth! Humbled and grateful.

“A deep grasp of this grace (salvation) is one of the sweetest qualities you can ever bring into your marriage. The more you comprehend and marvel at the fact that you have been chosen…, holy and beloved, the more eagerly and cheerfully you will put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another and forgiving each other…” (Col 3:12:13)

“Change is like wet cement; it becomes solid over time.”

Recovery Groups address destructive, habituated life patterns. Process Groups are for decreasing the disruption caused by difficult experiences or "sticky" emotions. Support Groups are for mutual encouragement as participants persevering through difficult experiences that endure for an indefinite period of time. Therapeutic Educational Groups provide a better understanding of challenges that are often misunderstood

…the underlying premise of this book is this: the more important something is, the more important it is to do it well and the more dangerous it is to do it sloppily. Because a counseling ministry will invite people to be vulnerable with the most sensitive parts of their lives, it will—for better or worse—have immense influence. With great influence comes great responsibility.

Multiplication is at the heart of the Great Commission. We are not only supposed to do our work well, but to teach others to do it also—sometimes better than we do it. We are called not only to be successful, but to reproduce. If God prospers you at something, take that extra time to write down the secrets of your success so that others can do it too.

I appreciate this description of one of Summit Church’s goals as they do the work of ministry: “Show your work and let others copy your paper.”

"…I can't tell you how beautiful it was there in the twilight... And it put us in such a mood that we began talking about all sorts of things. Sat up late last night writing, and early this morning... In the evening there's also a beautiful view of the yard, where everything is deathly still and the street-lamps are burning the sky above full of stars. When all sounds cease-God's voice is heard-Under the stars." VG

“Sewing up the seams as words
grow into sentences, verbs don’t fit,
fall into place. Nothing proceeds
according to plan. There isn’t a plan.
I perform confusion instead of composition.”