Allison Bailey > Recent Status Updates

“When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water.”

- Excerpt from The Peace of Wild Things

“The truth preserved by lying becomes a lie.”

If your past repeats itself in some way, this is where I want you to start: Look at what your God is like. He is faithful… Always & forever. And from the secure place of knowing that this is who he is..receive his mercies and make good on them. If you have sinned in an all-too-familiar way, you can confess and repent. If you have been hurt in an all-too-familiar way, you can cry out for comfort from your Comforter.

“It would be easy to think we are just failures or damaged goods because of what we did or what was done to us. But if we dwell there, then it is as if God's grace to us lacks power. God gave his Son to give us new life. And if we hold on to that truth, receive it, and believe it, then our lament goes where it is supposed to go: we are grateful for what the Lord has done in our lives. “

“That brings us back to your story. Will you believe that Christ has authority to tell your story? Perhaps it’s easy to believe an abstract notion that ‘God is in charge.’… But let’s get more personal. Will you believe that Christ has-and should have-all authority in your life because of who he is and what he has done for you?”

Laments in Scripture "share a common structure and pattern," writes Christina Fox. "Nearly all the laments move from the negative to positive, from sorrow to joy, and from fear to trust." A lament includes three critical movements: crying out to God, asking for help, and responding in trust and praise.

Shelley inviting Keats to stay with him as he recovered his health. I love his perspective on caring for his rival!

“Indeed Shelley, always generous in his judgement, perhaps because he was condemned as harshly by his own contemporaries as Keats had been, wrote: ‘I am aware indeed that I am nourishing a rival who will far surpass me and this is an additional motive & will be an added pleasure.’”

After considering all that has been said so far in this chapter about the seriousness and beauty of the marriage covenant, we may be tempted to grit our teeth and press into marriage with greater strength and resolve. It is quite important that we do no such thing. The sacredness and awesomeness of the marriage covenant should first and foremost humble our hearts and drive us to God for His merciful aid.

“As creatures, we tend to reason from creation to the character of God, rather than from the character of God to creation.”

“The result of evil is always some type of suffering.”

“Learning how to cope with not getting everything done is as important as getting more done”

I like the perspective of seeking to keep roles centered, not balance. To keep them centered means to have certain roles with more weight. Sometimes, other roles are just not a priority because the most important role needs more attention for a season.

A husband and wife forsake all other lovers, just as Christ and the church forsake all other lovers. A husband commits his life to the true good of his wife, just as Christ gave His life for the church. The father of the bride gives his daughter to her husband, just as the Father gives. the church to His Son. A husband and wife become one flesh, just as Christ and His bride are one spirit.

Managers do things right, leaders do the right thing.

After watching the movies for the first time during Covid, finally listening to the books for the first time. Finally.

“Too often, churches are prone to platform leaders because this opportunity will be good for a leader's growth. While that is fine in some settings, in a counseling ministry, you only platform leaders who are ready to facilitate the growth of others. Leaders who are not ready to fill their counseling role will inadvertently but inevitably hurt the participants in that ministry.”

Ah, my dear angry Lord,
Since Thou dost love, yet strike;
Cast down, yet help afford;
Sure I will do the like.

I will complain, yet praise;
I will bewail, approve:
And all my sour-sweet days
I will lament, and love.

Bitter-Sweet by George Herbert

If he says, Let not your hearts be troubled, it is not because he doesn't understand how troubled our hearts actually are, or doesn't feel that trouble too. On the contrary, it is because he feels and knows it only too well that he wants to heal it for us. It is not his will that death should do this to us or that our hearts should always be troubled, for he has come not only to share the trouble but to deal with it

You know too well this trouble in our hearts,
Your heart is troubled for us, feels it too,
You share with us in time that shears and parts
To draw us out of time and into you.
I go that you might come to where I am
Your word comes home to us and brings us home.

From “Let Not Your Hearts be Troubled” by Malcolm Guite

If we have ever felt, as the poet does in the first stanza (Our Prayers Break on God), that God and his heaven are on some distant shore where the first heave and surge of our grief can only break in tiny wavelets, then the second stanza brings us to the gospel truth that God is close, indeed closer to our pain than we are, that he suffers under the hammer blows of our troubles and our gnawing grief gnaws at him too.

“Open our clenched fists Heaven, to receive The touch of mercy, mercy in the depths.
Open your wound in us, the wound that heals...”

Earth by Malcolm Guite

“I am not mad: too well, too well I feel
The different plague of each calamity…”

- King John - Constance’s Speech by William Shakespeare. On grief’s overwhelming realities.

“I hope that the poems in this part acknowledge and speak into our questions, our shock and con-fusion, not perhaps to answer them immediately, for the deepest answer may be a longer time coming, but at least to honour them, helping us to realise that even as we feel that we are a dead lake, a sinking ship, a staggering invalid, we are not alone.”

Malcolm’s words are consistently beautiful. Grateful.

“Infertile couples often keep their infertility private, to shield themselves from the gaze and judgment of others. But it is precisely at this point, in the midst of fear, embarrassment, anxiety, or shame, that couples should understand themselves as part of a family that listens, cares, and consoles. If that is you, dear reader, please know that you are not alone. You are part of a family.”

“Childlessness is not punitive, it is not arbitrary, and it is not wrong.”

“The ethical mistakes churches make in counseling aren’t usually a result of asking the right questions and choosing unethical answers. We make ethical mistakes because we don’t know the right question we should have asked (past tense) until it’s too late.”

“Two primary issues that create liability are mishandling this information or misrepresenting the qualifications of your counselors.”

“Yes, liability involves the possibility of a lawsuit, but if managed poorly, a counseling ministry can cost your church its reputation in the community, trust of members, and unity within the body. These things are harder to recoup than money.”

“Get ready to trust Him in every corner of your marriage. He will accept nothing less. He will be infinitely patient with you, but He insists on changing you. He loves you too much to let you go through life believing that you dont depend on Him for breath, let alone everything else. He loves you so deeply that He will force Himself into the very middle of your heart and marriage.“

“Your marriage to Jesus lasts forever. It costs you nothing. It cost Jesus His life.”

Wow. What a staggering truth! Humbled and grateful.