Em Young > Recent Status Updates

“Now it’s happening again—I’m letting myself need someone, handing them the power to break my heart. So I do what I’ve always done: pack up my emotions—confusion, hurt, abandonment—seal them in the farthest corner of my heart, and ice them over so they’ll never, ever thaw.”

“Maybe I had the right idea all along, burying myself in books so I don’t have to feel all this. Some distance from Ryan might be good—I’ve started relying on him, and that’s never a good idea. I learned that with Mom.”

“The same tightness grips my chest now, making it difficult to breathe. I know Ryan isn’t Mom, but the scared kid inside me is panicking, terrified of being left behind again. I’m spiraling, drowning, and I can’t seem to stop. Ryan’s leaving. He’s leaving the store, he’s leaving me, and my heart feels like it’s ripping apart.”

“Of all the books I’ve ever read and all the fantasies I’ve ever had, none of them hold a candle to the reality of being with you. You are what I’ve been waiting for.” He presses his lips to my jaw. “Please trust this: I will do whatever it takes to give you every single thing you have ever wanted.”

It’s the longest shower I’ve taken in months, and when I finally emerge from the bathroom feeling like a new woman, Alex is fast asleep in one of the beds, on top of the bedding with all the lights still on.”

“Standing in hot, hot water within a cold, cold bathroom, watching legitimate dirt and grime drip off me and swirl around the drain in shimmery gray spirals, is life giving. Massaging coconut-scented shampoo into my scalp and green-tea-scented cleanser onto my face, and running a cheapo razor up my legs, feels divine.”

“To put it lightly, I don’t enjoy showering.
Being clean, yes. The act of being in the shower, also yes. But everything about having to brush out my tangled hair beforehand, stepping out onto a ratty bath mat or tile floors, getting dry, combing my hair out again—I hate all of that, which means I’m a three-shower-a-week person to Alex’s one to two showers a day.”

“Politics will help you understand the world until you don’t understand it anymore, and then it will get you thrown into a prison camp. Politics and religion both.”

“Libby Monroe kissed me, and dream or not, it was the realest thing I’ve ever felt.”

Chapter three hurt my feelings.

Hooked by the end of the first chapter is always a great sign.

If you see this, no you don’t. It was recommended and available. I’m 35% through and 👌🏼 this close to DNFing. Don’t look at me like that. 👀

“I don’t want to go in just yet…I just want to sit and not have to think about-“ he swallowed, even in the half dark it seemed effortful. “I just want to be a man who has been to a concert with a girl in a red dress… just for a few minutes more.”

Not until I looked into a pair of ocean blue eyes and realized that drowning was a beautiful thing. Not until I looked into a pair of fiery blue eyes and realized that burning was a painless thing. Not until I looked into a pair of sky-blue eyes and realized that perhaps falling was a peaceful thing. I’d never thought about what my favorite color was before because I hadn’t seen one that was worthy of the title.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I can wake up every single day and choose you, over and over and over again. If you’re in bed next to me, I will take your hand. If you are not, I will find you. I will spend the rest of my life, if I get that lucky, seeking you out. Not because I promised you or because you’re there. But because I will want to. I will want to be beside you. Every day. Forever. Every morning, I wake up and I think, God, yes, her.

“And I want to know when you knew what was happening between us and I want to tell you when I knew. And I want to hold your hand in a quiet corner and I want to lie in bed and hear your heartbeat through your chest. I want to bring you coffee in bed. And I want to hear you tell me anything you’ve always wanted to tell someone. Because you know that you’ve met someone who desperately wants to listen.”

“Can you give me that? Let me think that right now, the wrong woman won, okay? Let the world be as I see it for just tonight. Without too many gray areas and caveats. Where I know I’m mortal but I’m not sure that you’re not a god,” she said. And then her voice got barely above a whisper as she leaned in. “Can you do that for me?”And what escaped Joan’s lips was “Yes.”

“I’m giving you the abbreviated version. My father’s alcoholism is like a footnote to every chapter of my life. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be free of it.” -Henry

oh my god no. 😭

Wow.

No god take me instead.

What the fuck.

Well, this wasn’t a good choice for me.

“I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave, I’m afraid that cord of communion would snap. And then I’ve a notion that I’d take to bleeding inwardly.” -Jane Eyre

I’m in love. 🥰