Ali L > Recent Status Updates

ok I’m in

Ima be real with y’all: this book is incredibly fucking weird

if you, like me, are very into “men down so bad it’s inarguably and embarrassingly pathetic” I have some great news for you

y’all I ain’t got a single good thing to say about this book lol I’m sorry I feel like I’m letting the entire nation of Scotland down

I would LOVE it if this guy stopped referring to his wife’s skin as “baby-soft” right before he fucks her thanks

SHE is a tiny little baby-sized itty bitty teeny thing
HE is the Chrysler building
DID WE MENTION HOW SMALL SHE IS
BARELY VISIBLE TBH

like everyone who has ever met him, I have an exasperating crush on Silas Byrd

I’m going to be totally honest: I have no idea what’s going on in this book. Everyone has kidnapped each other, tried to kill each other but, like, not really even though I feel like that would be the most logical move, is horny for each other, and it’s all taken place within 24 hours. And why is everyone whispering all the time? Use your outside voices.

I really hope there’s a fight that turns into passionate kissing at some point this would be a great fight-to-kiss book

I wonder if anything will happen between the king who sets stuff on fire and the guy named Asher

get it

because of what ashes are

get it

oh my god it’s grumpy-clueless/golden retriever OH MY BODY NEEDED THIS FR FR

I just skipped a sex scene if you’re wondering how it’s going

I’m supposed to be reading Carmilla but I can’t tear myself away from this amnesia-sports-fated mates-wtfwtfwtf telenovela

this just took a hard left turn into WhatTheFuckville and I’m going to make it EVERYONE’S problem

“oh my god it’s SO LONG why is it SO LONG oh my GOD it’s about SPORTS oh no this is tragic wait IT’S AN AMNESIA BOOK ABOUT TEAM MATES WHO ARE SECRET LOVERS” this has been a real rollercoaster y’all

this is like a much lower stakes Dungeon Crawler Carl without a talking cat and shape shifting manager

the most unrealistic part of this book is that Lord Henry has gone this long without someone shooting him because this motherfucker is annoying as shit

I don’t know if I can get through this much nonstop dry quippiness, gang

maybe I’m just in a mood but I think this book is altering my DNA idk

I do not want to spoil this for anyone since it’s release day so let me update you with emojis:

🫠😬😅

the comfort of opening an Ali H book and just knowing that at some point the guy is gonna “it’s always been you you dumb bitch” (paraphrasing) the girl

I had to leave the bedroom because I’m crying so hard I’m afraid I’m going to wake up my fiance lol thanks Alix

requesting admittance to the yearn unit b/c these mfers be PINING

I’m going to be honest: this book has a ton of things I do not like in romance novels and by all accounts I should be hating it but I’m having an absolute blast??? I think it’s utterly delightful in every way??????? It’s a top contender for sexiest book of the year????????

hold up am I tripping or was that the hottest car make out scene ever

you just have to pretend that it’s about a different eight foot tall long-haired Irish mega rock star and then it’s not so weird

everyone in the black and white times was fragile as hell “my foot got wet so I was taken to my bed for three weeks and could only consume gruel and weak tea” wtf y’all gotta start weight lifting or something

I love how this book completely ignores the cardinal writing rule of “show don’t tell”. Heathcliff leaves for a few years and returns home fabulously rich and no one knows where the money came from. Even Nelly is like “yeah I never asked” lmfao go off, Emily Brontë

these people all need to get out more

it’s great how everyone has both multiple names but also the same names