“To be a gay man is to be, to some extent, defined by one’s own desire, whereas to be a heterosexual woman is, still, so often to be defined by someone else’s. Asserting one’s own sexual appetite, in such a context, is seen as an act that is both unbecoming of a woman and an act of un-becoming a woman.” (So if a man’s desire is defined by someone else’s, he un-becomes a man.)
— Oct 15, 2025 02:56AM
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