Emily Yu’s Reviews > The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions > Status Update

This chapter contains many surefire tips for gaining wealth and personal power at the expense of people who are studying how to be team players. Naturally I have withheld my most effective tips so that I can crush you if it's absolutely necessary, or it it just looks like fun. But what you find here should still be enough to brush aside the kindhearted dolts that litter your path to success.

Cubicles...serve as a constant reminder of the employee's marginal value to the company. I've never seen a brochure from a cubicle manufacturer, but...it would look something like this: -Open top so you'll never miss surrounding noise. -Small size so you can enjoy the odors of your coworkers. -No annoying windows. -Available in battleship gray or feces brown. -Coat hanger (only available on the Admiral Series.)

We're a planet of six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants. The rest of this book builds on my theory that we're all idiots. I'm sure there are other plausible explanations for why business seems so absurd but I can't think of any. If I do, I'll write another book for you. I promise I won't stop searching for an answer until you run out of money.