Ari’s Reviews > The Jewish Wedding Now > Status Update

Family and friends would bring food and end meals with birkat hamazon and, if one new person was present, repeat the seven blessings.
Although the comparison may seem odd, these seven days mirror the seven (shiva) days of mourning after a death. According to folklore, both periods made people vulnerable to evil spirits […]

Because it is considered essential that both members of the couple understand its meaning, haray aht is always recited both in Hebrew and the vernacular language of the community.

Some rabbis ask that the couple provide a pair of candlesticks for the table under or near the huppah. No blessing is said for candles at a wedding, but if you wish to light them, a family member or friend can read this passage, attributed to the Baal Shem Tov:
“From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined for each other find one another, […]

Weddings summon a lot of spontaneous prayer: pleas for good weather, supplication that the caterer will get everything right, gratitude for having found the love of one’s life.

Immersion in water softens our form,
Making us malleable,
Dissolving some of the rigidity of who we are.
This allows us to decide who we wish to be when we come out of the water.

“Happy occasions are an opportunity to share your gladness with those in need. […] This tradition can not honored in many ways at a wedding: you can send your floral arrangements to a hospital or nursing home after the party or donate the amount you might have spent on flowers to a cause or organization that matters to you […]”

The flimsiness of the huppah reminds them that the only thing that is real about a home is the people in it who love and choose to be together, to be a family. […] The huppah is the house of promises. It is the home of hope.

Weddings are postponed for at least thirty days if either the bride or groom loses a parent, sibling, or cold. But in general, the mitzvah of marriage is so important that weddings take precedence over almost everything else and in some cases may even preempt mourning.

As the Yiddish proverb says, “There is no huppah without crying.” Clergy who have accompanied others down the rose-and-thorn-strewn path to the huppah can help you navigate the inevitable problems that arise as you’re online the biggest party of your lives while melding two groups of strangers into one extended family.

Jewish law regulated marriage, but Jewish weddings reflected the dreams, tastes, and creative energy of Jews. Weddings repudiate past grief, celebrate the here and now, and affirm the promise of a joyful future. […] After the Holocaust it was said, “To dance at a Jewish wedding is to dance on Hitler’s grave.”