nat.polska’s Reviews > Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex > Status Update

I’m sorry, but chapter 7 on aromanticism and platonic vs romantic love is just such a snoozefest. I wish we had LESS of people’s stories and more of sociology and psychology (on a populational, not individual level).

HSDD is such a joke diagnosis

«Saying that someone has HSDD unless they identify as ace is like saying that someone who experiences same-sex attraction has a psychiatric condition unless they happen to identify as homosexual.»

«Having sex is cool; not having sex is less so. Sex is not only a commodity for men to buy. Women can now participate, too, conspicuously consuming sex to show off and also to be able to say that this consumption is empowering because we are using our power to have the same rights as men. Female horniness is to be cultivated»

„It seems that the message is ‘we have liberated our sexuality, therefore we must now celebrate it and have as much sex as we want. Except ‘as much sex as we want’ is always lots of sex and not no sex, because then we are oppressed, or possibly repressed, and we’re either not being our true authentic selves..”

The sex myth: «Sex [is] more special, more significant, a source of greater thrills and more perfect pleasure than any other activity humans engage in. No sex means no pleasure, or no ability to enjoy pleasure.»

Compulsory sexuality,…, is not the belief that most people want sex and have sex and that sex can be pleasurable. Compulsory sexuality is a set of assumptions and behaviors that support the idea that every normal person is sexual, that not wanting (socially approved) sex is unnatural and wrong, and that people who don’t care about sexuality are missing out on an utterly necessary experience.

nothing is really new information for me, but it’s nice that this book exists.
i wish it had more scientific approach and highlighted more of studies and research made on the topic of asexuality

interesting take: «Now I could see the ways my asexuality had protected me. Being ace spared me from sexual distraction, from slut-shaming internal or external, from bad hookups or any hookups at all, from casual relationships that ended in ghosting and confusion.»

«Asexuality explained why I had been so perplexed when a high school classmate got pregnant. It was so easy to never have sex, I thought. It was the default state and it took real effort to do anything else.»