Lillian’s Reviews > Happening > Status Update

It looks like an Indian doll. We look at the sexual organs. We seem to detect the early stages of a prnis. To think I was capable of producing that. O sits down on a stool, she is crying. We are both crying in silence. It’s an indescribable scene, life and death in the same breath. A sacrificial scene.

I feel that the woman who is busying herself between my legs, inserting the speculum, is giving birth to me.

Whenever I think about that week’s vacation in Le MontDore I picture a shimmering stretch of snow and sunshine reaching into the dark recesses of January. No doubt because our primitive memory chooses to portray the past as a basic juxtaposition of light and shade, day and night.

They had all worked hard at their subjects and had duly handed in their assignments; the he carefree attitude they chose to flaunt was part of their reward for being good students. They wanted to have fun, to go dancing and to see movies like Les Tontins Flingueurs. My primary concern during that term had been to find a solution to my abortion.

As was often the case, you couldn’t tell whether abortion was banned because it was wrong or wrong because it was banned. People judged according to the law, they didn’t judge the law.

“I was beginning to realize that he wasn’t too keen to get involved. Girls who chose to abort didn’t quite embody the moral principles of his family planning association. What he wanted was to remain at the forefront and to find out how my story would end. It was a bit like seeing the show without having to pay the price.”

I didn’t realize Jean T’s intention when I watched the film. Surprised.