Mary Rose’s Reviews > Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair > Status Update

Shunning is not “an active form of harassment” nor does it deny people their humanity, it denies a relationship. Why is severing relationships supposed to be mutually negotiated.

“My view, in sum, was that while sexual and physical abuse does occur on campuses, and prejudice and discrimination may be rampant in class, actual sexual and physical abuse do not usually take place in a classroom. So intellectual, educational settings are among the few places in life where these things can be analyzed and engaged with depth without threat of actual physical danger.”

“We have learned….through the… co-optation of a wide range of radical movements and disenfranchised communities, that as long as the system of domination and power remains intact, winning "rights" or realignment in the hierarchy simply means that the most normative elements of any community gain access to the state apparatus. When this happens, the least powerful elements remain the objects of their force.”

I find it difficult to empathize with the perspective of someone who would want to develop or nurture a relationship with an individual who has made it clear through action (if not direct conversation) that they want nothing to do with them. Even if we take Schulman’s proposition that the person being shunned is owed the chance for community repair. What do you get out of that?

Schulman’s insistence on phone calls is so crazy to me as an anti-phone call kind of person, especially because shes not defending it with any real reason. (Or rather defending with personal preference stated as fact.) I’m reminded of old people who get really offended by people wearing hats indoors but when pressed can’t think of any reason except that they were taught it was rude.

“Right now, the state and shallow group relationships collude to escalate Conflict and obstruct repair. As I try to show over and over again, refusing to be self-critical in order to solve conflicts enhances the power of the state.”