Ariel’s Reviews > Before the Crow Flew > Status Update
Ariel
is 35% done
This main character is a moron. It's like he wants to get caught. Blabbing his mouth to everyone. More concerned about a random hook up and paying style his hair, using up his limited money while on the run.
— Jun 07, 2025 05:27PM
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Ariel’s Previous Updates
Ariel
is on page 46 of 153
Current thoughts:
• Too many simple grammatical errors. Like no spaces between words... enough I noticed and it bothered me.
• Characters feel flat, emotionless.
• Story feels convenient. Like the farmer who happened to have a hobby in physics to understand time travel, but does nothing more than help with clothes. Why?
• Good proof of concept, poor execution.
— Jun 07, 2025 05:10PM
• Too many simple grammatical errors. Like no spaces between words... enough I noticed and it bothered me.
• Characters feel flat, emotionless.
• Story feels convenient. Like the farmer who happened to have a hobby in physics to understand time travel, but does nothing more than help with clothes. Why?
• Good proof of concept, poor execution.
