Barca Šulc’s Reviews > Turtles All the Way Down > Status Update

I get that nothing lasts. But why do I have to miss everybody so much?

"The problem with happy endings," I said, "is that they're either not really happy, or not really endings, you know? In real life, some things get better and some things get worse.
And then eventually you die."

"I kind of just want to stay here in this particular instant for a really long time."

“You serve whatever you worship."
"So we gotta be careful what we worship," I said. She smiled, then shooed me off to the shower. As I stood underneath the water, I wondered what I'd worship as I got older, and how that would end up bending the arc of my life this way or that. I was still at the beginning. I could still be anybody.

"I don't mind if you kill her. Just make her die a hero."

I was thinking that maybe the old lady and the scientist were both right. Like, the world is billions of years old, and life is a product of nucleotide mutation and every-thing. But the world is also the stories we tell about it.

I was a story riddled with plot holes.

"That sounds really scary," he said. I just nodded. "Do you feel like you're getting better?" Everyone wanted me to feed them that story—darkness to light, weakness to strength, broken to whole. I wanted it, too.
"Maybe," I said. "Honestly, I feel really fragile. I feel like
I've been taped back together."

Tried to let myself have the thoughts, because to deny them was to just let them take over.

I laughed. "It's turtles all the way down."
"It's turtles all the way fucking down, Holmesy. You're trying to find the turtle at the bottom of the pile, but that's not how it works."
"Because it's turtles all the way down," I said again, feeling
something akin to a spiritual revelation.