emily’s Reviews > The Iliad > Status Update

1. agamemnon fit check
2. love the description of the impaling sword turning the guy’s brain to mush in his skull
3. all the princes offering up ransoms LMAO
4. “more dearly loved by vultures than their wives” JAW DROPPED
5. love that gods just pick up their fave soldiers from battle when they’re about to get hurt this is so unserious
7. COMPARING AN ARROW WOULD TO LABOR PAINS???
8. “a big mistake.” huge

1. menelaus and agamemnon would make thirst traps
2. i understand their titles are a big part of the themes of this book, but GODDAMN
3. dolon is rich but fucking ugly
4. not dolon snitching immediately

1. diomedes: agamemnon, stfu
2. how old do we think nestor is — like 45? fucking ancient
3. where is briseis’s feminist greek retelling?
4. achilles serenading patroclus🤭
5. achilles: it’s been SO HARD for me to fight so many men to steal their women😫
6. patroclus is a male wife
7. they’re literally communicating without speaking and history called them just friends

1. zeus to athena: jk i love u
2. why is nestor’s only defining trait being old
3. i want to know the greek word for nipple
4. where are the loverboys?
5. bc of epic, i only read diomedes as diabetes
6. A HORSE NAMED BLONDIE OMGGGGG
7. AND GODLIKE SPARKLE AHHHHH
8. zeus calling athena bright eyes as a pet name makes me feel something in my cold heart
9. zeus: yeah no this is normal for hera i can’t even be mad

1. i miss mama’s boy achilles
2. nestor <3
3. poor menelaus just wants his wife back but agamemnon — his brother!! — is like “dude no, hector would destroy you, he’s SO much better than you”
4. ajax and hector after fighting to the death: but we’re still friends, right?

1. astyanax scared of hector in his armor😿
2. do you think diomedes is the master of the war cry? i’m not quite sure…
3. the iliad, or everyone hates paris
4. love that the trojan royal family prefers helen over paris
5. love reading over two whole pages of some guy’s entire ancestry dot com family lineage report

1. describing the grief of the families of those killed in battle OOF
2. ares’s title — used by other gods — is “plague on humanity”
3. athena to diomedes: “ok you can see gods in battle but don’t hurt any EXCEPT APHRODITE SPILL THAT BITCH’S BLOOD”
4. why is everyone a lord of horses?
5. athena is the favorite and ares is the LEAST favorite
6. “he almost killed this man, the son of that man”

1. athena: panda, go shoot and kill menelaus
panda: (does it)
athena: (deflects the arrow so it hits menelaus’s leg)
athena: LOOK WHAT THE TROJANS DID
2. menelaus out here breaking down stereotypes, you can be warlike AND blond😊
3. odysseus “the loving father of telemachus” i’m going to kms
4. ooh it’s getting gory now

helen❤️‍🩹
literally how do people think she went willingly with paris?? aphrodite is forcing her to stay and she just wants to go home with menelaus :(

1. how does one become a horse-lord?
2. love the obsession with the greeks’ long flowing hair
3. the repetition is CRAZY
4. so here for the hera-athena alliance
5. i’m so glad i read twelve pages just naming all the soldiers like i’m so glad