Eliza’s Reviews > Dark Matter > Status Update

Hate read at this point but I’ve come too far

Ooooo my name is Jason and the hot lady who is my alternate universe therapist wants to sleep with me but I’m trying to get back to my equally hot wife who likes ~painting~ and having my children

Man shut the fuck up

Why is this lowkey the plot of Shrek forever after

male main character just said that sleep was sexier than water. Men should be banned from writing anything down