Ilse’s Reviews > Outline > Status Update
Ilse
is on page 41 of 249
What Ryan had learned from this is that your failures keep returning to you, while your successes are something you always have to convince yourself of.
— Jul 26, 2025 05:18AM
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Ilse’s Previous Updates
Ilse
is on page 218 of 249
I was suddenly filled with the most extraordinary sense of existence as a secret pain, an inner torment it was impossible to share with others, who asked you to attend to them while remaining oblivious to what was inside you, like the mermaid in the fairy story who walks on the knives that on one else can see.
— Aug 18, 2025 04:00AM
Ilse
is on page 206 of 249
She remembered a piece of music by Olivier Messiaen, written during his internment in a prisoner-of-war camp during the Second World War. Some of it was based, or so she had understood, on the patterns of birdsong he had heard around him while under detention there. It struck her that the man was caged while the birds were free, and that what he had written down was the sound of their freedom.
— Aug 15, 2025 03:42AM
Ilse
is on page 164 of 249
At the wedding, asked by friends what it was she saw in him - a pertinent enough question, he conceded, at the time - she had replied, I find him interesting.
I said that it didn't sound such a bad reason to marry someone.
— Aug 13, 2025 09:31AM
I said that it didn't sound such a bad reason to marry someone.
Ilse
is on page 160 of 249
It is interesting how keen people are for you to do something they would never dream of doing themselves, how enthusiastically they drive ou to your own destruction. Perhaps we are all like animals in the zoo, and once we see that one of us has got out of the enclosure we shout at him to run like mad, even though it will only result in him becoming lost.
— Aug 11, 2025 05:45AM
Ilse
is on page 150 of 249
‘Music’, she said, in a langerous and dreamlike manner. ‘Music is a betrayer of secrets, it is more treacherous even than dreams, which at least have the virtue of being private’.
— Aug 09, 2025 02:35AM
Ilse
is on page 124 of 249
Children leave or children stay depending on their ambitions: their lives are their own. Somehow we become convinced that if we say even a word out of place we’ve marked them forever, but of course that is ridiculous, and in any case, why should their lives be perfect? It is our own idea of perfection that plagues us, and it is rooted in our own desires.
— Aug 07, 2025 03:28AM
Ilse
is on page 113 of 249
When she does see women wearing such shoes, it makes her feel sad. She had believed, until now, that this was because she found such women pitiful, but in fact when she thinks about it honestly it is because she feels excluded or disbarred from the concept of womanhood the shoes represent. She feels, almost, as if she isn't a woman at all. But if she isn't a woman, what is she?
— Aug 06, 2025 09:36AM
Ilse
is on page 105 of 249
I wasn't sure it was possible, in marriage, to know what you actually were, or indeed to separate what you were from what you had become through the other person. I thought the whole idea of a 'real' self might be illusory: you might feel, in other words, as though there were some separate, autonomous self within you, but perhaps that self didn't actually exist.
— Aug 04, 2025 08:57AM
Ilse
is on page 83 of 249
There was no such thing as an unblemished childhood, though people will do everything they can to convince you otherwise. There was no such things as a life without pain.
— Aug 02, 2025 02:46AM
Ilse
is on page 73 of 249
I felt that I could swim for miles, out into the ocean: a desire for freedom, an impulse to move, tugged at me as though it were a thread fastened to my chest. It was an impulse I knew well, and I had learned that it was not the summons from a larger world I used to believe it to be. It was simply a desire to escape from what I had.
— Jul 27, 2025 08:28AM
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emily
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Jul 26, 2025 10:49AM
Hope you're enjoying this , Ilse : ) I'm enjoying your reading updates lots - I need to read more Cusk for sure : )
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Such a good book Ilse 🤗
emily wrote: "Hope you're enjoying this , Ilse : ) I'm enjoying your reading updates lots - I need to read more Cusk for sure : )"Emily, I have to refrain from posting half the book :) - this might really be a Cusk that you would enjoy a lot (I wouldn't be able to put in words where it is about, but it is thrilling ;). Besides, there are so many elements in it that I also found in Deborah Levy's August Blue that the latter seems a response to this book (mentioning so to my partner, he wondered if Levy's novel could be a kind of fan fiction to this...).
Linda wrote: "So true"Linda, I thought this reflection quite relatable!
Mark wrote: "Such a good book Ilse 🤗"Absolutely, Mark - and your review and five shining stars speak volumes! Imagine, I bought a copy of this from a charity box in London, five years ago, and it seems so silly I waited such a long time to finally start reading it - it is perfect, very well written and offering fascinating insights on the complexity of relationships.
Ilse wrote: "emily wrote: "Hope you're enjoying this , Ilse : ) I'm enjoying your reading updates lots - I need to read more Cusk for sure : )"Emily, I have to refrain from posting half the book :) - this migh..."
I must surely read this one then (I remember enjoying 'Parade' quite a bit) : ) . Thanks for the recommendations, Ilse ! I do like Levy's writing very much as well, so I will need to read that alongside this since as you've mentioned - they should go well together considering the complementary overlaps . A fan-fiction? That's an interesting take, will keep that in mind when I read both : ) !
I love the quotes you have shared. I look forward to eventually getting to this one.I so loved August Blue, so now you've piqued my curiosity further.
I loved this book. The rest of the trilogy is brilliant, too.
