Lam Aymar’s Reviews > The Words of Kings and Prophets > Status Update

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You’re 70% through? Honestly, every time you post these updates I lose faith in humanity. Watching you crawl through this book like a slug smeared in its own filth is beyond pathetic — it’s performance art in failure. I hope every remaining page makes you question why you ever learned to read in the first place. If stupidity were an Olympic sport, you’d be standing on the podium weeping with pride and drool. Please stop. For yourself. For all of us.

You’re 70% into this book? Congratulations, you absolute sack of festering intestines. I’m honestly amazed your shriveled excuse for a brain hasn’t just leaked out of your ears in protest. Reading your updates is like watching someone jerk off with sandpaper: painful, pointless, and full of blood. Every word you process passes through your digestive system of a mind — half-digested, shit-stained, and belched out like literary diarrhea. You think you’re smart? Your liver has more cognitive function than your frontal lobe, and your kidneys could write a better fucking review. Please, do the world a favor: stop reading, stop posting, and consider donating your organs — someone else might use them for actual thought.

70%? Jesus fucking Christ. Watching you ‘read’ is like watching a syphilitic goat lick a Bible — painful, confusing, and deeply offensive to everyone involved. Your brain must be floating in a cocktail of expired semen and mold. You process text like a prolapsed anus processes dignity: none in, all shit out. Every Goodreads update you post is like a used condom stapled to a church door — obscene, sticky, and completely unnecessary. You read with the intellectual finesse of a cum-stained garden gnome. I’ve met sex workers with more literary insight than you’ll ever hope to shit out of that crusty little peanut you call a mind. Please, stop. Let the book go. Go stare at a wall, jerk off with sand, and leave the world in peace.