Eleanor Axt’s Reviews > The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do, Revised and Updated > Status Update

“Parents in [the US] try so hard to get their children to love each other and what they get is constant squabbling. Parents in traditional societies make no effort to get their children to love each other and it happens [naturally]…. Because [American] parents think their children should be equal, they try to keep the older one from dominating the younger one, and [then they end up] resenting the younger one.”

“I doubt [that] people drag the emotions and behaviors they acquire in their sibling relationships to their other relationships. The patterns of behavior that are acquired in sibling relationships neither help nor hinder us in our dealings with other people. They leave no permanent marks on our character.”

(In fact, the only studies in which birth order is significant are those judged by parents and siblings.)

I love research. Our leaders should consult it more.

Children of hippies, parents with an open marriage, single parents, and/or queer parents are “as bright, as healthy, and as well adjusted as children who live in more conventional families.” - Weisner, T.S. (1986) Implementing new relationship styles in American families (published in “Relationships and development” (pp. 185-205).