Emily’s Reviews > Empire of the Vampire > Status Update

‘One day as a lion is worth ten thousand as a lamb’

The way Kristoff describes feeling hungover is honestly just poetic loooool
‘I woke to find a legion of tiny devils throwing a revel inside my skull. Most were taking turns kicking at my brain with rusty hobnail boots, though one had apparently crawled into my mouth, vomited and died. I risked opening my eyes, with a shear light so blinding, I thought for a moment daysdeath had finally ended.’

Names Talon de Montfort uses that I will now be adopting into my vocabulary:

Pig-buggering little shitwizard
ill-bred twatwaffler
Spunk-brained fuck weasel
Lackwitted piss puddle
Dribble-chinned gibbercuck

‘“Lionclaw,” I whispered… And looking at the sword in my hand, I vowed I’d be worthy of it. That I would slay something monstrous with it. That I’d not just walk. Not just run. No, in this place, I’d fucking fly.’

It’s very early on but I’m so intrigued already. I DESPERATELY need to know what Gabriel is. Is he half vampire? Is he a fallen angel? Archangel? Put me out of my misery pleeeeease!!