Ethan’s Reviews > Engine Running: Essays > Status Update

“I’ve long since moved away from myself; I’ve left a part of me behind. It’s not that I want any of the time back—no, just that there are reminders, everywhere I go, of a life I lived. A memory of before—memories of before. And though I wish I could, I can’t explain why some stand out like yesterday when the details of so many others have left me. So much of childhood’s a haze, but fragments remain.

“I sit in the passenger seat, and I look back to the road. And I worry, sometimes, about how memory exaggerates. How it might create from nothing. I worry that what I believe I’ve lived, that what I’ve seen, isn’t really how life happened. That it’s just one version of the truth: in some ways, maybe, a false belief.”

“It’s a sound like muscle memory, and my body seeks out something like an answer. First there’s fear, and then there’s knowing. An understanding. (Remembering.) That everything sings out for a reason. To find something, maybe, what’s been lost. Each other.”

I can’t handle how perfect the prose is 😫😫

Revisiting for class prep

There so, so much I’m identifying with here. It’s crazy