Caroline ’s Reviews > Off With Her Head: Three Thousand Years of Demonizing Women in Power > Status Update

they approved of his policy initiatives and would beat tracks to the polls on Election Day. "When women seek executive office," said Amanda Hunter of the Barbara Lee Family Foundation in an interview for this book, "they have to really satisfy both gender stereotypes: show they are strong enough to lead, but they also have to maintain a level of femininity* to keep their likability, which is nonnegotiable. Voters will not vote for a woman they do not like. Trump's confrontational manner would never be permitted in a woman."

*Femininity as we've arbitrarily defined it. In this book the author refers to the arbitrarily defined aspects of "femininity" that are concerned with smiling friendliness, unfailing politeness, and deference. For women striving to achieve, the femininity that patriarchal societies like also involves never being too ambitious. Depressingly, study after study definitively shows that the more ambitious, intelligent, and power-seeking a woman is, and the more she makes her abilities and talents apparent, the more men and women dislike her. Women learn early in life, and then have it reinforced throughout, that if they want to have lots of friends and not alienate men, they have to play down, if not hide, their achievements, intelligence, and abilities. The only exception may be if the ambitious and smart woman is in the company of women who are at least as equally ambitious and smart.

If a man is cunning, he gets kudos points. If a woman does the same, she gets pelted with cabbages. Sad, but still true.

Morphing_kashi wrote: "If a man is cunning, he gets kudos points. If a woman does the same, she gets pelted with cabbages. Sad, but still true."

Yes. A cunning woman will never be admired. The behavior only reinforces the sexist view that women are temptresses out to tease and manipulate men. It's a view that adds fuel to the fire of incel groups, and it's an ingrained one. The author talks early on about the portrayal of Eve in Genesis, for instance. This anti-woman (in several ways) Genesis story is one of the earliest that people hear, even people who are only casually religious, and for those who are religious, they hear it ad nauseam.

Almost reminds me of the attitudes during the witch hunts, centuries ago.

Laura wrote: "Almost reminds me of the attitudes during the witch hunts, centuries ago."

Absolutely. Disdain of women (and the sexism of the day, of course) fueled witch hunts. Period. She hasn't gotten to witch hunts (yet?), but she touches on so much else in history. The sexism was, and is, relentless.

They’re afraid of us. That’s the bottom line. Terrified.

Laura wrote: "They’re afraid of us. That’s the bottom line. Terrified."

Agree--and also, see the quote on my profile. A pervasive belief among too many men is that if women, and other socially oppressed groups, get increased influence or power, men's will decrease. The reality--that the table will simply expand and the conversation will become richer--is somehow unfathomable. O_o

Yup. They just don’t get it. It’s conquer or be conquered. No gray areas.