Daniel’s Reviews > Coddiwomple > Status Update
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Daniel
is 64% done
“Your zipper is down,” Dad said casually.
I looked down quickly… only to find my zipper perfectly zipped. I huffed. “We’re just friends.”
He nodded knowingly. “That’s what I do for all my friends. I hang out near their jobs, hoping to catch a glimpse of them. When that fails, I buy them lunch and hand deliver it. And by deliver it, I mean—”
“If you’ve ever loved me at all, you won’t finish that sentence."
— Sep 27, 2025 09:08AM
I looked down quickly… only to find my zipper perfectly zipped. I huffed. “We’re just friends.”
He nodded knowingly. “That’s what I do for all my friends. I hang out near their jobs, hoping to catch a glimpse of them. When that fails, I buy them lunch and hand deliver it. And by deliver it, I mean—”
“If you’ve ever loved me at all, you won’t finish that sentence."
Daniel
is 46% done
I wanted more paddleboarding with my brothers, more chatting with Laura while she baked. I wanted more nights with my dad in his recliner watching TV, and me on the couch working on my travel book. More of me fixing things with him watching over my shoulder, telling me how to do what I already knew how to do, and irritating me to death. Oh wait, that’s a different list—the Let’s Have Fucking Less of That list.
— Sep 25, 2025 08:21AM
Daniel
is 19% done
“You'd have done much better to join the family garage. What's the point of naming the business Sutton and Sons if—”
“My sons don’t want to fucking join. I know, I know. You need new material.”
We’d only been together for a few minutes, and I was contemplating watching a couple of episodes of Forensic Files with a pad and a pen to take notes. How much planning makes a crime premeditated? Asking for a friend.
— Sep 23, 2025 08:18AM
“My sons don’t want to fucking join. I know, I know. You need new material.”
We’d only been together for a few minutes, and I was contemplating watching a couple of episodes of Forensic Files with a pad and a pen to take notes. How much planning makes a crime premeditated? Asking for a friend.
Daniel
is 9% done
“Thanks for coming to pick me up,” I said around a yawn.
“No problem.” Cameron slammed on the brakes as another car cut him off, and suddenly I felt a little more awake.
“So… how much is the Arrive Alive Fee in this Uber?”
The corner of his mouth kicked up as we watched the car cut off another two lanes of airport traffic. “Shut up, JJ.”
“I asked you not to call me that, mostly because I’m not dy-no-mite.”
— Sep 20, 2025 03:15PM
“No problem.” Cameron slammed on the brakes as another car cut him off, and suddenly I felt a little more awake.
“So… how much is the Arrive Alive Fee in this Uber?”
The corner of his mouth kicked up as we watched the car cut off another two lanes of airport traffic. “Shut up, JJ.”
“I asked you not to call me that, mostly because I’m not dy-no-mite.”
Daniel
is 9% done
That great Harmon dialogue-writing!
There was a slight dusting of dog hair on the adjacent couch, which probably belonged to the big-ass dog standing in front of me. “Hey, Cam,” I called out.
“Yeah?”
“Could you maybe stop doing whatever the hell you’re doing for a few seconds and come save my life?”
“I see you’ve met Kona.”
“Yeah, we met. He asked me if I knew where you kept the all-purpose seasoning.”
— Sep 20, 2025 02:39PM
There was a slight dusting of dog hair on the adjacent couch, which probably belonged to the big-ass dog standing in front of me. “Hey, Cam,” I called out.
“Yeah?”
“Could you maybe stop doing whatever the hell you’re doing for a few seconds and come save my life?”
“I see you’ve met Kona.”
“Yeah, we met. He asked me if I knew where you kept the all-purpose seasoning.”
