hana’s Reviews > The Cruelest Chaos > Status Update

”You can’t tell me what to—”
“I own you, Ella. I’ll tell you what to do for the rest of your life, and guess what? You’ll tell me, too, and if I ever fuck up again, you can sink that knife straight through my heart, but you’re not going anywhere because after I tell you all my secrets, “you forfeit the ability to leave me, Ella. If you tried, I’d kill you first.”

“Do you want me to take you home?”
“No.”
I should go home. I need to go home. But what’s at home? Maybe my mother. Maybe her lover. Maybe nothing.
Being with my mother has never felt like home.
Being with Maverick did since the first morning I woke up in his bed.

“I’m no better than Lucifer. Than my father. Than Jeremiah. I’m no better than the 6. Than every other dumb fuck on this planet lucky enough to find a girl who looks at them like they’re god and then makes sure to spit in their fucking face while they’re already on their knees.”

“Go bury your self-loathing into someone who can take it, because I can’t, Maverick. I fucking can’t because I hate myself enough for both of us.” I yank out of his grip, and this time he lets me.
He lets me go.

“Her lips are parted as she watches me treat her like shit, like she’s fucking nothing.
She’s not nothing.”

“we both know I can’t just hole up here forever.
Forever.
He’s not a boy that does forever. I’m not a girl that deserves it.”

“The corners of my mouth lift into a smile that I try my best to fight because I am happy. Because thinking of Ella does make me feel lucky.”

“Why’re we here?”
He puts two more boxes of the same cereal on top of mine. “You’re eating all the food in my damn house.”
I feel myself flushing, but he tips my chin up, noticing.
“I don’t care, Ella,” he says, like he really doesn’t. “As long as I can eat you in my house, too.”
I blush harder, but he pulls me in by the throat and kisses me, hard, right on the lips.”

“my father’s screams mingled with Mom’s in my head. iIf I think about how their volatile relationship reminds me of Lucifer and Sid, without the beatings. They hurt each other enough without violence. I sometimes wonder if he’s any better than Jeremiah fucking Rain…
I sometimes wonder if I’m any better.
But thinking about it is a waste of my time.
So I don’t.”

“What do you want?” I whisper in the dark as the fireworks stop. I press my brow to hers, bring one hand beneath her head, my fingers in her hair.
“Sleep,” she mumbles.
“Okay,” I whisper back. “I can do that. By the way,” I run my mouth over hers, taste the blood I drew. “My name is Maverick.”
She smiles against my lips. “The moon is beautiful, huh, Maverick?”
It sure is, Ella.