Status Update

Ashton Zaloudek-Hager is on page 395 of 464

Gosh damnit, Martha! There’s 45 pages left, we don’t have time for your bullshit!!

— 6 hours, 40 min ago

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Ashton Zaloudek-Hager’s Previous Updates

Ashton Zaloudek-Hager is on page 374 of 464

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA 💀💀💀💀💀

— 7 hours, 6 min ago

Ashton Zaloudek-Hager is on page 241 of 464

Tarantulas has been mentioned again… multiple times.
I would’ve let the f*cking thing die, too, Cole.
Fook. That.

— 20 hours, 19 min ago

Ashton Zaloudek-Hager is on page 210 of 464

Still no further mention of the pet tarantula 👏🏻

— Oct 26, 2025 02:19PM

Ashton Zaloudek-Hager is on page 139 of 464

Update: No further mentions of the tarantula at this time.

— Oct 25, 2025 08:27PM

Ashton Zaloudek-Hager is on page 40 of 464

this is a Christmas book. WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A PET TARANTULA?!!!!

— Oct 25, 2025 08:21AM

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