Marquise > Status Update

Not exactly embarrassed or ashamed, but reading modern graphic novels (esp those featuring superheroes) as an adult can often invite criticism from other adults, as if the readers are only supposed to be eternally in second-grade. 😕

I think that being seen reading "Mein Kampf" or some of David Duke's books would definitely make me feel self-conscious. If I read them, it would be academic and clinical in desiring to understand the workings of the minds that wrote them --- but in today's environment, I think there's a good chance of a confrontation due to being seen reading such works in public.

Probably anything deemed too kid like or a graphic novel/manga just because I don’t like being judged for liking “not adult enough” stuff in others’ opinions. And the fact that everyone then will automatically think I’m 12. 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

It’s probably not quite what you intended, but I read while walking and my walks sometimes take me near a neighborhood elementary school so I have used yellow stickies to cover the N-word or nudity on the covers of a few books to avoid an awkward situation with any stray children.

Not really. Although if I didn't want anyone to see what I am reading, I would probably just read it on my Kindle.

I think I’d only be embarrassed to read something in public if it had a hideous cover. Otherwise I never get embarrassed by what I read.

I would never give a rat’s about what anyone else thinks. I read/listen with only my own enjoyment in mind. Of course, listening to to audiobooks keeps the title hidden from others, so IDGAF!

@Mar: Definitely! I would be embarrassed reading this edition of the novel ^^' ... Which I totally did not!



A Confederacy of Dunces

I can't think of any 😉 I am never embarrassed by what I read. (I appreciated Michael O'Brien's thoughtful comment above.)

I can't imagine I'd actually be reading something that would cause me embarrassment. I think I'd be embarrassed to be caught watching Fox News or scrolling Reddit, but since I don't do either of those things, I can hold my head high.

I’m here for the answers 😂 But I definitely found my tribe since no one blinks reading anything in public, like me. I love this for us!

I don't read in public, or if I do, it's on phone so people can't see it anyway. But if I did, I don't suppose I'd be too embarrassed. All these people are strangers. By the time I get off the train they will have forgotten all about it.

There's not a single book I'd be embarrassed about. When I read romance in public, though, I feel terribly awkward when I unexpectedly come across smut. Then, embarrassingly, it almost always happens that I blush. Very uncomfortable! :)

Well, I’m reading a middle grade book right now. Since it’s aimed at a younger audience, I wouldn’t read it in public, I think. Though I’m not super embarrassed by that either. Like I also have a Lilo & Stitch t-shirt, not embarrassed at all to wear it. This also reminds me of the YouTube videos where people read embarrassing (fake) books in public.

Not just a book, but an entire genre: erotica. 🤣
I know some people can read it in public without batting an eye, but not me.

Morphing_kashi wrote: "Not just a book, but an entire genre: erotica. 🤣
I know some people can read it in public without batting an eye, but not me."

Same. I don't read erotica or romance, anyway, but if I did, this would be it. Sorry to fans. It's still just too taboo to read, at least in public. Also, as someone above said, anything promoting hateful ideology, like a David Duke book.

However, I use only the Kindle in public now. I used to read paper in public, but I hated the inevitable attention of people noting that--gasp!--someone is reading (I swear, seeing a fellow human reading a book awes some people in this age of smartphone addiction) or the peeking at the title, even if it was just a quick look. Sometimes I also would be interrupted by a fellow reader to tell me they enjoyed the book I was reading. That's fine, but it's awkward. No conversation followed since I didn't know the person; I was like, Cool! Glad you liked it. O.o

Oooops! I'm one of those people that occasionally asks a total stranger if they're enjoying a book I see them reading. Followed, usually, by awkwardness -- some of us never learn!

Scott wrote: "Not exactly embarrassed or ashamed, but reading modern graphic novels (esp those featuring superheroes) as an adult can often invite criticism from other adults,"

Oh, yes! I understand you 100%, that happens to me with my fairy tales, too, more often than I'd have thought. I've had people online (here and elsewhere) take me for a young girl and condescendingly talk down to me for my tales.

But shame? Nah, to Hell with their prickish judgmentalism.

Michael wrote: "I think that being seen reading "Mein Kampf" or some of David Duke's books would definitely make me feel self-conscious..."

Can't opine about Duke due to unfamiliarity, but I can tell you many self-respecting WWII history enthusiasts have read "Mein Kampf" in private and don't bring it up even amongst other history enthusiasts for fear of judgment. And there's also many WWII history enthusiasts who consciously avoid that book, as if it was going to pass on the plague to them or something, and yet a third party that argue it's not necessary to read the devil in his own words to understand him.

Sarah wrote: " And the fact that everyone then will automatically think I’m 12. 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️"

Hahaha! Oh, my, I could tell you several anecdotes of when people have taken me for a young chit they should educate and steer away from the way to perdition. "Oh, my dear Marquise, I aM sO mUcH oLdEr aNd ExPeRiEnCeD tHaN yOu, lemme give you a piece of sage advice from my long experience..." 🫠

And I'm there thinking, girl, I'm not as young and naïve as you think, and you're barely 3-5 years older than me, and probably not even as smart as you think you are. 😂

Rod wrote: "It’s probably not quite what you intended, but I read while walking and my walks sometimes take me near a neighborhood elementary school so I have used yellow stickies to cover the N-word or nudity..."

That's a legitimate worry, there's children around and you never know what could happen if a teacher or a mum see you, right? You could end up tagged as the pervert who goes near schools with risqué literature in hand.

Fred wrote: "Not really. Although if I didn't want anyone to see what I am reading, I would probably just read it on my Kindle."

Yeah! I remember I had this same discussion under one of my reviews (can't recall what book now), about the embarrassment of the bare-chested man titty covers for Romance novels, and how Kindles saved readers from that because now the covers aren't visible.

Mar wrote: "I think I’d only be embarrassed to read something in public if it had a hideous cover. Otherwise I never get embarrassed by what I read."

Cover snob, eh? 😂 I had this discussion before too, and it was a good laugh because people were showing really terrible covers.

The pity is, though, that maybe the story isn't bad and the horrid cover is damaging it by default...

P.E. wrote: "@Mar: Definitely! I would be embarrassed reading this edition of the novel ^^' ... Which I totally did not!"

Think of the poor martyrs that sacrificed themselves for the team and led to the invention of Kindles so we could hide the horrible covers we have for your books! 😂

Alexandra wrote: "I can't think of any 😉 I am never embarrassed by what I read. (I appreciated Michael O'Brien's thoughtful comment above.)"

Yeah, I was expecting one comment of that sort one hour after I posted this question. I'm slow. 😂

But seriously, I don't think you've even picked up anything remotely controversial? At least, not in the time I've known you.

Left Coast Justin wrote: "I can't imagine I'd actually be reading something that would cause me embarrassment. I think I'd be embarrassed to be caught watching Fox News or scrolling Reddit,.."

Wait a minute, Herr Doktor!
a. You've read cow milking erotica, ja?
b. What do you have against Reddit? Their Fantasy community is wonderful!
c. r/tragedeigh
d. You've read cow milking erotica! 😂

Kirsten Paoline wrote: "I’m here for the answers 😂 But I definitely found my tribe since no one blinks reading anything in public, like me. I love this for us!"

Yeah, you're in good company!

On the other hand, this is one of those questions that will, by their very design, attract the crowd that have nothing to hide or feel bad about. We won't be getting answers (or not many) from the other camp.

Juho wrote: "I don't read in public, or if I do, it's on phone so people can't see it anyway. But if I did, I don't suppose I'd be too embarrassed. All these people are strangers."

That's my mindset too, what do I care about what strangers think of me? But humans are weird, there's definitely people who care and hide the covers of what they're reading on the tube or bus. Easier now with Kindles, so you don't see much of that now, but from time to time you still catch the socially self-conscious person trying to hide what's on their tablet/phone.

Wulf wrote: "There's not a single book I'd be embarrassed about. When I read romance in public, though, I feel terribly awkward when I unexpectedly come across smut. Then, embarrassingly, it almost always happens that I blush..."

I'm afraid to ask what exactly you're reading that would make you blush! 😄

Thibault wrote: "Well, I’m reading a middle grade book right now. Since it’s aimed at a younger audience, I wouldn’t read it in public, I think."

Why not? Let folks think you're vetting it for your children or niece/nephew or students or grandchildren! 😄

In all seriousness, I think women fare better with 'kiddie books' in public. I have seen women reading children's books in public, and nobody bats an eye. I suppose the assumption is that they're doing it for the kids because they're a teacher or a mum, I myself have thought of three GR friends I have here who are always reading children's books that they were schoolteachers (I was right in all three counts), but there's also another GR friend of whom I thought the same and was wrong.

Maybe I am not old enough yet to be assumed to be reading my tales for the kiddies instead of for myself... No one thinks I read fairy tales for my little ones. 🥹

Morphing_kashi wrote: "I know some people can read it in public without batting an eye, but not me."

Me too, me too! 🤣 There are a few users here like that, I love their guts and sense of humour, they're smart gals.

Caroline wrote: "(I swear, seeing a fellow human reading a book awes some people in this age of smartphone addiction)"

Once upon a time, I would've thought this was an exaggeration. But if I learnt anything in two decades of reviewing and book discussion, is that readers are one of the strangest human tribes. There's people who read tonnes of stuff: newspapers, blogs, online magazines, websites, etc., and yet don't consider it's "reading" unless it's a book, and then there's the other side of the coin that you described.

Odd bunch, humankind.

Left Coast Justin wrote: "Oooops! I'm one of those people that occasionally asks a total stranger if they're enjoying a book I see them reading. Followed, usually, by awkwardness -- some of us never learn!"

Many habitual readers are introverts and socially awkward, they use reading & books as a shield to fend off anxiety and avoid socialising. There's even memes about that, some of which have made their way to GR too.

None. Never really given this any thought.

I'm stumped, can't think of a book that I want to read that would cause embarrassment.

There is feeling embarrassed and then there is awkward.
I read mostly on my phone while I am in Public. Still, there is a bit of embarassment when a sudden unnecessary steamy scene pops up while I am standing in a crowded train and there is someone peering over my shoulder. Happens more often than I would like.
Awkward would be reading certain books that are would draw judgy eyes depending on perople around you at that point.

Marquise wrote: "In all seriousness, I think women fare better with 'kiddie books' in public."

I think so too. And I think good stories can speak to people of all ages, regardless of the target audience of those stories.

Elentarri wrote: "None. Never really given this any thought."

Sounds just like you, El, never one to care about others' thoughts of your reads. ;)

Charlton wrote: "I'm stumped, can't think of a book that I want to read that would cause embarrassment."

You tend to read pretty normal stuff, too, from what I see of your updates & reviews.

Sree wrote: "There is feeling embarrassed and then there is awkward."

True, but you did get the question pretty well. The overall idea is discomfort of any sort that comes from reading/being seen reading a given book.

And yes, I do agree that nosey peeking into what others are reading on their Kindles/phones is way more common than one would think. o.O

Thibault wrote: "And I think good stories can speak to people of all ages, regardless of the target audience of those stories..."

All the more reason to not give a fig about people seeing you read kids' stuff (or fairy tales)! :D

I think it was Lewis who said that a book for kids that's only read by kids isn't a good kids' book... Or something. Don't quote me on that, my memory is infamous. :P

Actually, I'm now tempted to read embarrassing stuff in public just to see if anybody will strike up a conversation with me. However, people where I live are so used to the whole weird human assortment that it would have to be *really* bad to get a stranger to notice. Any suggestions?

Marquise wrote: "I think it was Lewis who said that a book for kids that's only read by kids isn't a good kids' book... Or something. Don't quote me on that, my memory is infamous. :P"

That's a very good point, Marquise. If you dumb it down too much, even if it is for kids, that's not a good thing. It's much more interesting if you create a story that has layers, so it can speak to people of all ages. As an older audience can usually spot and appreciate more things, especially on a rewatch or reread.

Thibault wrote: "That's a very good point, Marquise. If you dumb it down too much, even if it is for kids, that's not a good thing..."

Exactly! Lewis was very much against talking down to the young 'uns or dismissing their rational capacity as too immature for certain concepts. Probably why his Narnia series endures despite it being pretty much a product of his time and his Christian worldview.

I have a similar mindset, I take issue with people who use "fairy tale" to mean delusional, unrealistic, fake. One reason I loathe Annet Schaap and so many other authors who entirely miss the point of fairy tales and retell them to fit their modern agendas.

Left Coast Justin wrote: "However, people where I live are so used to the whole weird human assortment that it would have to be *really* bad to get a stranger to notice. Any suggestions?"

If I knew how to rile up your people, I'd be writing "How to Offend Californians: A Guide for Clueless Euros," m'dear. 😄

But I don't, so...

(Ah, no, the Rachel Gillig book doesn't count! 😄)

NONE. I'd never be embarrassed for reading anything but if my friends saw me reading Ottessa Moshfegh they'd know it was a dare or I'm being paid to do it

Honestly? None. What are they going to do? Post my picture on social media to mock me?

The Haunted Vagina

Nothing comes to mind. I used to read historical scottish romances on a bus. And yes with all the bare-chested men on the covers :D from time to time I even "caught" some passangers to read alongside me, haha. And one time I was reading de Sade's Incest - also on a bus ride - so, if anyone was bothered, it's their problem not mine :)

Dreamcatcher (HIATUS) wrote: "Honestly? None. What are they going to do? Post my picture on social media to mock me?"

Amongst other things. And have a picture to show to your great-grandchildren for eternal shame in this life and the next. 🤣