Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder’s Reviews > Man-Eating Typewriter > Status Update
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 437 of 544
Under the innocuous screamline LE QUATRIÈME CHANT, some fungal frog named Jean Schuster – apparently toppermost doggy in the Surrealist grupa after André Breton’s mortification – declared in nix uncertain terms: SURREALISM IS DEAD. ... I savvied it was my duty now to solo-handedly resuscitate the exquisite corpse of Surrealism, to spread its gloriosa disease hither-thither, throttling awake all sceptics ...
— Nov 01, 2025 11:35PM
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Alan (on December semi-hiatus)’s Previous Updates
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 536 of 544
Polari is unorthodox to say the least, filled out with bastardised French, German and other Euro lingos. For a precise account of Merchant Navy and Theatreland Polari, Paul Baker has written a number of fabulosa books – and they were indispensable for the writing of this one.
[Footnote under the author's Thank You endnote.]
— Nov 03, 2025 12:32AM
[Footnote under the author's Thank You endnote.]
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 510 of 544
Joan was a fantabulosa role model for my Exterminating Angels – a cross-dressing palone-omi, a bona heretic in sparkly armour, maxi dedicated to a higher being, hellbent on ferricadoozing the anglos, and with an exquisitely high tolerance for pain and suffering – but when I mentioned the similarity to my devotees, the dolls just smiled thinly and tugged on their pouffed-up beehives regardless …
— Nov 03, 2025 12:28AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 418 of 544
The musica was typical anglo twaddle: longwinded fuzztone odysseys chanted by morose wizards, repetitive cosmic caca that may well have sent the donna to sleep anyway had the drogas not got to her first. As we spun each other daffy, she rapidly began to complain of a heavy tet and jelly-lallies, to which I retorted, ‘Come and gulp some aero with me, dear heart.’
— Nov 01, 2025 04:18PM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 356 of 544
Nonchalantly I retorted: ‘I’m nix piglet, comrades. In fact, I’m more bolshy than the lot of you put together. I’m a froggy libertarian, I’m a squatter, an anarchist, an arva-fiend. Je detest all authority! This unfortunate riahdo is no fash statement – only premature baldiness, repulsive as that may be.’
— Oct 29, 2025 09:25AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 335 of 544
Yes, there was a pattern. Emily counted thirty-one rogue bold letters in each chapter, always following this sequence: g, n, i, n, e, t, s, i, l, f, i, t, i, n, i, r, a, e, n, a, t, n, i, r, p, e, m, p, l, e, h. Aside from a few words standing out (nine, nets, fit in, IRA, MP), she was unsure what to make of this stream of nonsense.
[An easy code to figure out 🤣]
— Oct 28, 2025 01:41AM
[An easy code to figure out 🤣]
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 286 of 544
As I paced around the workshop barking gildi orders at my receptive bambinos, I felt like the puppetmaster of some classic rags-to-riches liver – Doc Coppélia, Vic Frankenstein, Stephen Ward, the Prof from PYGMALION – reinvigorating these lost, easily led prole pooves and popsies, injecting them with natty skills and a nova bona education they could use to better themselves in the outside mond …
— Oct 26, 2025 05:26PM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 252 of 544
How did I acquire these clefs, I nelly thee screech? I admit it wasn’t the mostest convulsive or risqué chance encounter of my Surrealist lavvy: I’d clocked the trey-storey latty in an estate agent’s glossy chinka weeks earlier and parkered the property pronto in cash.
— Oct 26, 2025 05:35AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 220 of 544
Quite possibly this was what the rosbifs thought us frogs listened to on our crystal sets: piercing accordion and kishka-curdling garlic-stinkering oompahpahpahpah.
— Oct 23, 2025 06:44AM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 201 of 544
Are we all not a pogi bit queer now and then? Is it not more perverse to blockade your multilove impulses only for fear of embarrassment, sneering eaglets or being vadared as somehow outside norm society? ACHTUNG, my dear chovis: to be considered normal is perhaps the coddiest insult of all, is it not?!
— Oct 17, 2025 10:04PM
Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder
is on page 170 of 544
NOVAK. Ogling my gildi screeve, you’ll have gathered by now I’m nanti much of a love god. But be patient, comrade. Since I cannot prove a lover, I am determined to prove a villain, and hate the idle pleasures of our junos!
MERRITT. Sorry? Come again?
NOVAK. Billy Shaker. Dicky Trey.
MERRITT. Dick Tracy?
NOVAK. Nein! You’re a coddy detective, monsieur. Adieu!
The line went dead.
— Oct 17, 2025 10:00PM
MERRITT. Sorry? Come again?
NOVAK. Billy Shaker. Dicky Trey.
MERRITT. Dick Tracy?
NOVAK. Nein! You’re a coddy detective, monsieur. Adieu!
The line went dead.
:D
