CJ’s Reviews > Pumpkin Spice & Poltergeist > Status Update

ANOTHER TIMESKIP TO THEIR WEDDING LESS THAN 2 YEARS AFTER THEY MET. THIS IS EXTREME U-HAULING. i suppose they didn't need to adopt a cat together first because the witch already had one....

PROPOSING AFTER A YEAR OF KNOWING EACH OTHER. SAY IT AIN'T SO. and EVERYONE thinks it's good idea... fucking christ. also using the pet name "little witch" feels like if someone were to affectionately call me "little human" but whatever

"She was the sweetest fucking violin, and God, I loved playing her." thinking this during a sex scene..... you're insane

THEY'RE FUCKING IN PUBLIC NOW. I FEAR THERE IS NOTHING SLOW AND NON-INSTANT ABOUT THIS.

"There was something so gentle and sweet about her, something slower
than the instant fire I’d had with Lou."
YOU SOMEHOW HAD MORE FIRE WITH YOUR EX??? IT'S BEEN BARELY A WEEK AND YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL???????? THERE'S NO GENTLE ABOUT THIS

"Ugh. My witchy bits were fluttering." EWWWW GAG

guys the review i am whipping up for this when i'm done is deranged. like unpredictable. you cannot imagine the thoughts i'm having halfway through this

ugh i hate love at first sight. where's the yearning?? and why is this also a murder mystery????

a vampire having anaphylactic shock?? like would she have died even??? are vampires not literally undead and an allergy is going to take them out? oh also the allergy is nutmeg? fuck stakes and fire etc. i guess. Nutmeg.

"slightly queer vibe, like an Oxford professor and a Chapstick lesbian had a baby" love that this is.. what? girl who wears glasses and a blazer sometimes?