Karlee Skirka’s Reviews > Sage Haven > Status Update

“I wish I could rewrite it all, but I can't and so I live in the hollow of what could have been and the ghost of what was.”

“But when the world is quiet, and I let myself remem-
ber...I still wish I could go back.
Back to that first night. When everything was new, and the wreckage hadn't begun. When her smile was unguarded, and I hadn't yet ruined her trust. When there was still a version of me that could've deserved her.”

“And then I woke up.
Always. Just before he kissed me.
As if even in my dreams, I wasn't allowed to have him.
As if the universe, cruel and calculating, was determined to deny me even the smallest taste of what it might be like to be his to really be his.”

“If I could kiss her forehead the way I used to-when she
was half-asleep and safe and warm against me, When the world couldn't touch us and we made promises in the dark that I was stupid enough to believe.”

But it doesn't stop me from wanting her. From missing her like hell. From waking up at night with her name on my lips and reaching for her out of reflex, only to find cold sheets and nothing but the echo of who we used to be. From standing in the places where we once stood together, pretending she's still there, hearing her voice in the back of my mind like a ghost I can't shake.

“It wasn't about pushing her away because I stopped loving her. It wasn't about running from her because I was afraid of what we were becoming. It was about choosing her - her life.”

"Life is suffering," I whispered. "It's inevitable. But I'd rather suffer for something that matters than exist everyday in something filled with emptiness." I smiled through the tears, through the ache. "If I'm your wildflower... then that makes you the light. How can I survive without it?"

"The only reason people fear losing something is because it means they had something worth keeping. If I don't have something worth losing... what's the point of any of it?"

"I don't want a life without you," I whispered. "Even a long, safe life wouldn't be worth it. I'd rather have a short, beautiful one even if it's filled with pain and fear."

"I'm practically Hell's gatekeeper," he said hoarsely.
"One day, I won't come back. I'll be dragged under. Six feet down. And you'll be left wondering if you were the reason." His voice cracked, deep and hollow. "Or worse, you'll end up right there with me."