Emily M-H’s Reviews > My Brilliant Career > Status Update

“Our greatest heart-treasure is a knowledge that there is in creation an individual to whom our existence is necessary-some one who is part of our life as we are part of theirs, some one in whose life we feel assured our death would leave a gap for a day or two.”

"Sure, tell yer father he needn't worry over the money. I'll never be hard on him, an' if ever I could help ye, I'd be glad."
"Thank you; you are very good, and have done too much already."
"Too much! Sure, damn it, wot's the good er bein' alive if we can't help each other sometimes.

Oh, how I envied them their ignorant contentment! They were as ducks on a duck-pond; but I was as a duck forced for ever to live in a desert, ever wildly longing for water, but never reaching it outside of dreams.

against my earnest pleadings she had forced me here, and now would not heed my cry. And to whom in all the world can we turn when our mother spurns our prayer?

Copies of Gordon, Kendall, and Lawson were on my lap, but I was too physically content and comfortable to indulge in even these, my sworn friends and companions. I surrendered myself to the mere joy of being alive. How the sunlight blazed and danced in the roadway-the leaves of the gum-trees gleaming in it like a myriad gems!

I felt there was no good in the world, especially in men-the hateful creatures!-and never would be while it was not expected of them

I said bitterly, "There is no good in the world." In softer moods I said, "Ah, the tangle of it! Those who have the heart to help have not the power, and those who have the power have not the heart."

If there really was a God, would they kindly tell me how to find Him?
Pray! pray!
I prayed, often and ardently, but ever came that heart stilling whisper that there was nothing to pray to.

I turned and cursed God for casting upon me a burden greater than I could bear-cursed Him bitterly, and from within came a whisper that there was nothing there to curse. There was no God. I was an unbeliever. It was not that I sought after or desired atheism. I longed to be a Christian, and fought against unbelief.

The wheels of social mechanism needed readjusting-things were awry. Oh, that I might find a cure and give it to my fellows! I dizzied my brain with the problem; I was too much for myself. A man with these notions is a curse to himself, but a woman—pity help a woman of that description!
She is not merely a creature out of her sphere, she is a creature without a sphere-a lonely being!