Marquise > Status Update

Interesting question, Marquise. Thanks for asking.

I have met some wonderful friends here, that I definitely want to keep in touch with. So email is probably the way to go.

And yes, the only way I was able to form a deeper connection with them was through DMs. So I'm saddened to see them go. How do you think we can go about forming the same kind of connection without DMs?

Thibault wrote: "How do you think we can go about forming the same kind of connection without DMs?"

There's simply no other way, not even the groups feature is the same. You simply can't create deeper bonds without one-to-one interactions, be it in private by email/DMs/phone, or taking it from online to in person.

Everything else is simply strangers sharing a space, it's not friendship.

Marquise wrote: "There's simply no other way, not even the groups feature is the same. You simply can't create deeper bonds without one-to-one interactions, be it in private by email/DMs/phone, or taking it from online to in person."

I wish I could argue against that, but I do fear that you’re absolutely right. If even such an intelligent and wise person like you can’t think of a good alternative, then people like me don’t stand a chance. And it’s those deeper connections that a lot of people are looking for. Books are what brings us together, though it’s our connections with other people that keep us coming back for more.

I have made a lot of good friends here. I would say I am a better person because of it. Having the privacy to message a friend is essential for this process.

Most of my friendships have started in other places and then we friended each other here, but thankfully, many of the ones that's not the case for I have emails for or chat with on Discord now.

I've been here since 2009. So I've made many close friends here that I also am in contact with now, outside of this platform. But my main concern is as a Mod on this site. DMs going away will effectively shut down my and my fellow mods ability to govern our groups together, as well as when a personal issue crops up between members and it needs to be handled privately and not within the group or on the public platform.

Which AmaNazi wants I'm sure. Cause this then will give way to them stating how Out of hand groups are becoming and therefore they need to shut those down as well..

I see you AmaNazi. I know EXACTLY what your end game is here. Have known it since you showed your funky a&& on here, in 2013..

So, at the risk of sounding like a 3rd grader, AmaNazi, your momma's a ho! Phuck you and everyone like you who supports these actions.

Happy Friday Everyone!🤣

I have definitely made some endearing friendships here as I will certainly not being able to write privately...have emails and will will be using "good ole fascistbook" too as needed. So not impressive that this knee jerk type response seems to be their approach for blocking members from chatting privately :( They seem to be able to block trollers and or any other yahoos so this is dismaying. I do enjoy your question period section for that interaction!

This seems to be trend in itself to restrict communication on many platforms in a sense..."misinformation" is information that govt/those bought off so to speak with financial interests don't like....many of us have been warned through Facistbook and been in their "jail" for sharing posts that go against their community standards..ugh, despite it being true and or utterly hypocritical/not fitting the narrative...Yup; bit of a rant I know!

I can probably count all the times I used DM's on 1 hand.
I generally respond to groups threads or this main thread.

Made a few close friends

Apart from you, I don’t think I’ve actually made any friends on Goodreads. Most people I follow I know on some other social and have contacts with them there. :)

Books friends, yes, but friends I connect with more often, not so much… aside from you! See you in the funny pages… or where ever we all meet next! 🙂

As you say, Marquise: "I made a few close friends, with whom I'll stay in touch..." via a separate private email account.

Terence M [Quot libros, quam breve tempus!] wrote: "As you say, Marquise: "I made a few close friends, with whom I'll stay in touch..." via a separate private email account."

That's good! You'll stay in touch with them. <3

Scott wrote: "Books friends, yes, but friends I connect with more often, not so much… aside from you! See you in the funny pages… or where ever we all meet next! 🙂"

Only me? Honoured! 🙂 Follow me down the yellow brick road, Theodore!

(Because you're not a gal and thus not a Dorothy).

Katja wrote: "Apart from you, I don’t think I’ve actually made any friends on Goodreads. Most people I follow I know on some other social and have contacts with them there. :)"

You're serious?! o.O You being an author, I thought you had plenty of pals here.

TL *Humaning the Best She Can* wrote: "Made a few close friends"

*hugs*

Charlton wrote: "I can probably count all the times I used DM's on 1 hand.
I generally respond to groups threads or this main thread."

I guess not everyone is that sociable. Thank you for participating whenever you can, Charlton! <3

Cindy wrote: "I have definitely made some endearing friendships here as I will certainly not being able to write privately...have emails and will will be using "good ole fascistbook" too as needed."

Fascistbook. :D Hahaha! Oh, I've not been there for years and have no idea what it is like nowadays (and don't wanna), but that place was always too prone to bring down the hammer on users for silly things as much as for serious offences.

~*~Princess Nya Vasiliev~*~ wrote: "So, at the risk of sounding like a 3rd grader, AmaNazi, your momma's a ho!"

I now do believe you did have a few drinks last night. :D

Mariella wrote: "Most of my friendships have started in other places and then we friended each other here, but thankfully, many of the ones that's not the case for I have emails for or chat with on Discord now."

Thank goodness the good people I met here I did before the DMs disappear. <3

XOX wrote: "I have made a lot of good friends here. I would say I am a better person because of it. Having the privacy to message a friend is essential for this process."

A better person? Now I'm curious!

The good thing about DMs is that they also allowed for venting and letting off some steam. Sometimes, you've had a bad hair day, the cat destroyed your favourite socks, your boss was a bitch, traffic was a nightmare, etc., and you feel like yelling at the first unfortunate soul that crosses your path. But if you have a gal pal that will listen to your rants... a blessing!

I wonder how many people will become more aggressive than usual in public now that they can't keep that to their private circle?

Thibault wrote: ".Books are what brings us together, though it’s our connections with other people that keep us coming back for more."

Yeah, that's what I've always said. I don't care so much about reviews per se, I have plenty of friends that read & review books that don't grab me but that I love hearing their thoughts of (you've probably noticed I'm more of a reader/'liker' than a commenter). It's the people, those who value the books aspect more have many other choices.

I’m very selective when it comes to DMs here. Friends I’ve made here I’ve connected through WhatsApp or email outside of GR.

It’s disappointing that they’re removing the feature but I haven’t been here as long as many of you.

I've made a few friends via DMS. It's handy to communicate that way when it works. Sometimes, my screenreader's stubborn, but I do like that feature. It's ashame things are always changing.

Meredith wrote: "I've made a few friends via DMS. It's handy to communicate that way when it works. Sometimes, my screenreader's stubborn, but I do like that feature. It's ashame things are always changing."

I had wondered if you ever used DMs, because at least once I wanted to message you but wasn't sure if your screenreader could read them here. Now I know!

Anne wrote: "It’s disappointing that they’re removing the feature but I haven’t been here as long as many of you."

Some have made friends quite quickly regardless of how long they've been here, others took their time. I came knowing only one person on this site, who is no longer here. :(

I haven't been on as long as some of you (since late 2021) and haven't used DM a lot. I have only connected with a few people via DM. But there are times when you need to have a private conversation or even just give someone your e-mail address (which I don't want to hand to the world).

Fred wrote: "But there are times when you need to have a private conversationor even just give someone your e-mail address (which I don't want to hand to the world)."

Me neither.

Is there even a big, successful social platform that doesn't allow DMs or private chat? I can't think of any, all of the big platforms allow some form of private conversation between users.

Well, drat...

Apparently, some of those folks who misuse the DM feature decided to go out with a last hurrah, and sent a flirty message. :D

In these circumstances, it's darkly comical. I almost can see GR's point to do away with the DMs. A-l-m-o-s-t.

I've got close friends here. I usually chat with them through DMs. I don't really use anything else except Substack, and maybe Discord if it comes up. I'd really hate for DMs to get deleted.

Nice question, Marquise. Some friendships I made here, via groups and in comment sections, were strengthened through DMing, and several of my GR friends do have my email address. I don't think I DM'd with most of my friends, though, (haven't actually counted!) and I can't think of any I wanted to DM with but didn't. I don't know why this is, but I have to have a specific reason to DM--meaning not simply to chat, although I respond to chatting--and usually I don't have a specific reason.

I made a few close friends but they are emailing me at my regular email address. This is super sad. I remember years ago when they shut down the neverending quiz. I was stricken with grief. I tried to like your review about Elon Musk but goodreads would NOT let me.