Nascent’s Reviews > Tolstoy’s Diaries Volume I: 1847–1894 > Status Update

I have now become too lazy to think and be convinced of anything. However, I neither believe nor doubt any less than before. There is equilibrium in everything. I have become too lazy to convince myself of anything, but I am also too tired to undermine my faith, and I carefully preserve those beliefs which my restless mind has left in peace, and I’m afraid to become disenchanted with them or even to think about them.

On 21 December this year, at midnight, I had something like a revelation. The existence of the soul, its immortality (eternity), the duality of our existence and the essence of free will were revealed to me. Freedom is comparative: in relation to matter man is free, in relation to God he is not.

Examine every object from all aspects. Examine every act from the aspect of its harmfulness and its benefit. With every act, consider how many ways it can be done and which of these ways is best. Consider the causes of every phenomenon and the possible consequences of it.

baafree, sahrai nai khusi laagiraako xa malai,.. Tolstoy ra Dostoevsky ko diaries sang sangai padine bhaiyo..