jellybean the cat :3’s Reviews > Ashes, Ashes > Status Update
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jellybean the cat :3
is 30% done
rereading books i loved as a child.
this one has so much potential but is falling flat in many instances. i think using a first person pov would've helped. the third person pov feels,,, lazy???? in this way. mostly used to TELL the reader what is going on, rather than show it.
"lucy started walking..... she felt as if..... lucy wiped her mouth.... she felt her stomach cramp"
i will say i am enjoying the story tho
— Dec 15, 2025 07:28PM
this one has so much potential but is falling flat in many instances. i think using a first person pov would've helped. the third person pov feels,,, lazy???? in this way. mostly used to TELL the reader what is going on, rather than show it.
"lucy started walking..... she felt as if..... lucy wiped her mouth.... she felt her stomach cramp"
i will say i am enjoying the story tho
