seul’s Reviews > You've Reached Sam > Status Update

I think about him on my last day in Ellensburg, as I get ready to move to the city where we always planned to live together. And I think about him whenever I close my eyes, and see us together again, lying out there in the fields.

I think about him after a better first date with someone from my English class. I think about him after I finish writing our story and submitting it to a writing contest. I think of him when I win an honorable mention, and it gets published online. I think about him when I visit his house for Sunday dinners with James and his family.

But I still think about him. I think about him throughout my first week in college when I'm walking under the cherry blossoms. I think about him whenever I'm in town, grabbing coffee at Sun and Moon. I think about him when I'm on the phone with Mika, and we talk for hours. I think about him after an awkward blind date Oliver sets me up with.

"I love you more than you can ever know, Julie. I'll never forget the time we had together. So please don't forget me, okay? Try to think of me from time to time. Even if it's only for a moment. It would mean so much. You have no idea." A long pause, followed by static. "I should go now. Thank you... for not picking up the phone this time. Good-bye, Julie."

"You are my entire world, Julie. And one day, maybe I'll only be a small piece of yours. I hope you keep that piece."

"But you still can. You can still have all those things, Julie. Because you deserve them. And you deserve to fall in love a dozen times, because you are kind and beautiful, and who wouldn't fall in love with you? You're one of the best things to ever happen to me. And when I think about my life, I think of you in it."

"Remember back in the fields, when I asked what you wanted. if you could have anything? Well—I want those things, too, Jules. I want to be there with you. I want to graduate with you guys. I want to move out of Ellensburg, and live with you, and grow old together. But I can't." Another pause.

"And I never wanted you to, either. That's why I stayed as long as I could. So don't blame yourself for anything. It was me that was keeping you from your life. Maybe it was a bit selfish of me. But I was just so scared you'd forget. I realize now I made it a lot harder for you to move on. And I hope you forgive me for that."

"You see, I took you to all those places—like the fields, to see the stars that night—so that you'd always remember. So that whenever you looked up at the sky at night, you'd think of me. Because I didn't want to let you go yet. I never wanted to say good-bye, Jules."

"The truth is... I picked up because—because I needed you. I needed to hear your voice again, Julie. Because I wanted to make sure you didn't forget me."