TL *Humaning the Best She Can*’s Reviews > Cruise Ship SOS: The Life-Saving Adventures of a Doctor at Sea > Status Update

Do you see them in the city’s galleries, museums or joining Eileen trying out some of its finest fusion cuisine?’ ‘Not really, no.’ ‘Then you’ll know what to expect. The first alcohol-related injuries will roll in shortly before dinner and will continue through the night. We may stitch a fair few more faces before morning. If anyone takes too many drugs then they will probably be treated on land, though if they have brought a stash back on board a problem may manifest itself at any time in the next few days. ‘
Then, of course, come the guests.’ Edward turns to me again. ‘Sydney is a world class city where everyone eats well, speaks English and drives on the left. I can see why you might ask what can possibly go wrong. Perhaps Eileen can recall a few incidents from our last trip down under?’ ‘We had a very embarrassed gentleman who fell over and broke his nose when something scared him at the zoo. There was that lady who got a box jelly fish sting on her legs. I seem to remember that someone on the beach told her to put vinegar on it but the nearest shop was a gourmet food store that only sold balsamic. Her husband refused to pay the extra and they ended up having such a big row she had an asthma attack. Then there was the crew member who caught a particularly nasty sexually transmitted infection. It didn’t affect us down here, but last time I was in Sydney we also had some no-shows when we sailed. One married man and one married woman failed to rejoin the ship. Interestingly enough they weren’t married to each other. Australia is many things but it’s never dull.’ ‘Well on that note I adjourn our latest team meeting,’ says Edward, looking at his watch. ‘Kiri we will miss you a great deal but both before and after your departure in Sydney I expect it to be business as usual. Let’s start our final day’s work before the madness begins.’