Marquise > Status Update

Interesting - I don't know how a DM slider's mind works, but I'd think it would be much easier? safer? to be gross one-on-one where no one else could see, vs showing their stinky booty in public. (Until reported and deleted.)

Beth wrote: "Interesting - I don't know how a DM slider's mind works, but I'd think it would be much easier? safer? to be gross one-on-one where no one else could see, vs showing their stinky booty in public..."

Yes, you guessed correctly. That's exactly how it goes but for the more cowardly ones and for those that have something to lose if they show their other side (reputation-conscious), and that's part of why I have a very low opinion of some 'respectable' users hereabouts.

But for the rest? They're 'small' accounts with little to no reviews, so nothing to lose I suppose. And besides, GR takes ages to address harassment flagging, and I'd be surprised if they do something. It's always up to the user to delete and block, but the damage is already done.

I've always wondered if people believed me every time I posted an update about the venom that got delivered to me via DM, or if people privately thought to themselves I was exaggerating or being dramatic. And I only did the postings for the worst ones, not for your average day in/day out troll...

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. If ever you do leave GR, please tell us what platform you go to. I'll probably leave myself one day, and I'm curious to see where others are going.

Kris wrote: "I'm sorry you're dealing with that. If ever you do leave GR, please tell us what platform you go to. I'll probably leave myself one day, and I'm curious to see where others are going."

Thank you, Kris! I am leaving, it's not an 'if' anymore, I'm just doing it little by little. :)

I have a website (link in my profile), and I'll be posting my reviews there. Maybe also links to here to redirect traffict, and that'll be that.

Geez, some people. Sorry to hear it, Marquise :(

Wow Im sorry you have had to deal with that! I cant imagine a world where I had so much time on my hands that I would ever bother sending nasty messages via DM to someone on the internet for having a different opinion on a book. Some people really need to get out and touch grass.

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this!! I don’t understand why people can just focus on being a good person. Posting rude and public comments or sending rude DM’s takes time and energy. And it’s negative energy. The world would be a better place if everyone was just nice to each other, or kept their rude opinions to themselves. Like we can agree to disagree on our opinions of books.

ugh that's the worst :( I've had public comments on my reviews turned off since 2020 because I'm too sensitive lmaoo

🫂

i get what you’re saying but i mean wouldn’t this be better then? like it might deter them and even if it doesn’t it’s forcing them out into the light and letting other people see besides just the person getting dmed feels safer

I'm sorry you're getting those comments at all, Marquise, public or not. I also totally agree that they're using accounts without any content, so if they get deleted, they don't lose anything. So sad. Why can't we all just treat each other with a little bit of respect.

I am sorry Marquise. Glad you deleted it❤️

DM makes it easier to block troll. The first encounter of troll being blocked send a message. Now the ugliness will surface.

Sorry to hear that, Marquise. I was assuming it'd be the opposite, actually, that people who want to harass won't since their bad behavior would be on display. Hopefully that'll be the case.

My suggestion has always been to delete rude and hurtful comments. I know others disagree with that, but I've done it (back when my commenting was unrestricted) because A) I don't want that negativity forever attached my review so that if I go back to look at comments in the future, I'm upset all over again B) People don't have the right to comment; it's a privilege. If you insult, I'm not obligated to keep your comment and C) Let them have wasted their time.

I know a counter-argument is to leave them so other people can see what an asshole the commenter is, but if you'll be distressed each time you see them (assuming you go back to read comments now and then), it's not worth it. Also, I think negative comments beget negative comments.

Maria wrote: "Geez, some people. Sorry to hear it, Marquise :("

Maria, your email? Please. Would like to stay in touch outside of this site. <3

Evie wrote: "Wow Im sorry you have had to deal with that! I cant imagine a world where I had so much time on my hands that I would ever bother sending nasty messages via DM to someone on the internet..."

I've got all 3 types: nasty DMs, nasty public comments on my reviews/updates, and nasty insults through the answering box to my challenge question for friendship requests.

When people want to be odious, nothing stops them. :(

Brenda P wrote: "I’m so sorry you have to deal with this!! I don’t understand why people can just focus on being a good person."

I never got used to this aspect of reviewing, you know? That these people think themselves some sort of Author Protection Squad on behalf of writers that don't even know they exist and most likely don't even agree with their methods of 'defending' them.

Noah wrote: "ugh that's the worst :( I've had public comments on my reviews turned off since 2020 because I'm too sensitive lmaoo"

I'm turning them off again. They were off, but I also get very nice comments and the lovely people out there don't deserve to be punished with zero access to me if they want to talk only because some odious trolls bother me too often.

On and off seemed to work just fine, but I think not anymore. Now that I'm going to leave, best leave comments off too. Don't want to come peek at my friends' activity here only to see 30 notifications for comments by some idiot under my reviews.

TL *Humaning the Best She Can* wrote: "🫂"

🫂

✧ hayley (the sugar bowl) ✧ wrote: "i get what you’re saying but i mean wouldn’t this be better then? like it might deter them and even if it doesn’t it’s forcing them out into the light"

In theory, yeah. But they would have to mind their rep/public image for this to work as a deterrent. And many don't, because they're small accounts with few to no reviews and few friends.

The 'bigger' accounts do troll too, I can attest to that firsthand. But they have a following and an image they have to keep in mind.

Thibault wrote: "II also totally agree that they're using accounts without any content, so if they get deleted, they don't lose anything...."

Yeah, this has been a problem for a long while, not recent and definitely not just with me. I mean, even authors have resorted to this so they can't be tracked under their public profile here, at least two trolled me this way in the past.

I imagine without DMs, more would create alt accounts for precisely this.

Annika wrote: "I am sorry Marquise. Glad you deleted it❤️"

Thank you, Annika. ❤️

XOX wrote: "Now the ugliness will surface."

This site has been experiencing a toxicity almost similar to socials like Twitter under certain reviews that make me wonder if the new wave of users come from those platforms where this kind of relentless negativity is the norm.

Caroline wrote: "My suggestion has always been to delete rude and hurtful comments. I know others disagree with that, but I've done it (back when my commenting was unrestricted) because A) I don't want that negativity forever attached my review so that if I go back to look at comments in the future, I'm upset all over again B) People don't have the right to comment; it's a privilege. If you insult, I'm not obligated to keep your comment and C) Let them have wasted their time."

Yeah, that's what I do most of the time now. I used to leave the comments there and/or clapback with a quote of them whilst deleting the rest, but why bother anymore?

Back to restricting comments, I don't have the time even for clapping back anymore.

I am very sorry about the nasty comments, dear Marquise. Hugs 🫶

Mike Tyson wasn't wrong when he said: 'social media made y'all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.'

Persephone's Pomegranate wrote: "Mike Tyson wasn't wrong when he said: 'social media made y'all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.'"

I never thought I'd say this about Mike, but . . . he's said something so very wise! 😂

I do clap back, but not every time. And when I do clap back, the reaction makes me wonder if these people just expected me to stay meekly silent and gamely take the punch to the gut that some of the things they tell me are. I mean, some of the insults I've got thrown my way are baffling, they have nothing to do with what I wrote or what I've shown myself to be that I ask myself if they meant someone else and are just projecting on me.

Alexandra wrote: "I am very sorry about the nasty comments, dear Marquise. Hugs 🫶"

A hug from Sasha makes the day brighter! 🫶

🫂 🤗 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

TL *Humaning the Best She Can* wrote: "🫂 🤗 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜"

*hugs back* ❤️

🌼 🌸 🌻

I will not miss bots and-or random dudes sending me very weird creepy DMs

Gabrielle (Reading Rampage) wrote: "I will not miss bots and-or random dudes sending me very weird creepy DMs"

Should've turned your DMs to friends-only, dear Gabrielle.